A City Dreaming Read Online Free

overhang. “Arggggghhhhhhhh!”
    â€œArggghhhhhhh!” the sentinel shouted back at them.
    â€œArgggggghhhh!” Sodomy and Rum added.
    Having nothing to add to the conversation, M kept silent.
    They floated beneath the bridge and then into some sort of subterranean chamber, which distantly resembled a sewer, the real city merging with the strange, piratical existence that Lash and the rest of his crew had collectively willed into being. They tied up at the quay a hundred or so yards into the cavern, sharing space with two-man rowboats and jury-rigged catamarans and Arabian dhows, as improbable and anachronistic a fleet as had ever been gathered in one place. The waiting mob of pirates offered M a distinctly unpleasant greeting, punctuated by the occasional buffet or elbow, as well as a running speculation as to the sanctity of his anus and how long he might be expected to maintain it.
    If M felt nervous, you would have been hard-pressed to tell. They moved him past surplus East German army tents with barrels of grog sticking out of them, and piles of what looked like costume jewelry scattered about theground; past drunken wenches and severely inebriated catamites; past three monkeys and a one-eyed parrot reciting what M thought was a passage from Rimbaud. They came finally to a chair made of bone, atop which sat a man the size of several men, drinking from a goblet also made of bone. His beard was black as night, and slow-burning fuses had been set inside the braids. His eyes were brutal. His nose was hooked. He was not, by any stretch of the imagination, unarmed.
    â€œCaptain Grimdark welcomes you to the abode of the Pirates of Brown Water,” he said, leaning forward on the point of his cutlass. “Seems we’re getting awful popular with you bright-siders.”
    M found himself distracted by the tawny roots in the captain’s beard—brunet leading into ebony—but he shook himself out of it. “Thanks,” he said. “Yeah, it’s quite a place you’ve got down here. It’s . . . real subtle.”
    The captain rose up from his chair with a grace notable in such a big man, flung his arms wide, and went into easy oration: “For year upon year, we’ve lived beneath you, growing strong in the dark, learning the secrets of the city’s waterways. From the coasts of Staten Island to Montauk, women weep when they see our colors above the mast, and mothers quiet their children by mentioning Grimdark’s name! Our swords are sharp, our cannons primed, our . . .”
    M’s phone beeped, and he fished it surreptitiously from his pocket while the captain was involved in his melodrama, thinking it might be from Boy. But it wasn’t.
Unknown Number:
Did you see my earrings on the way out?
M:
Who is this?
    â€œâ€”meaner than Black Bart, prettier than Anne Bonny, Frencher than Francois l’Olonnais—”
Unknown Number:
Madison.
M:
You think I stole your earrings?
Madison:
I’m just asking if you saw them.
    â€œâ€”taken more plunder in one day than Kidd did in his whole career—”
M:
Did you check your nightstand?
Madison:
Of course I checked my nightstand.
    M’s looked up to discover the tip of Captain Grimdark’s cutlass a few inches from his throat. “We boring you, boy?”
    â€œSorry, sorry,” M said. “It’s this girl I went home with last night. Tonight. Whatever. She thinks I stole her earrings.”
    Apparently this bit of theoretical villainy was small potatoes for the captain. “What did you come here for? Answer fast or feel the tickle of my blade!”
    â€œOh.” M put his phone away. “Nothing, as it turns out. I was checking on a friend, but she’ll be fine. This is a great setup, though. Looks just like a LEGO play set I once bought a girlfriend’s nephew. Maybe you could just take me back to where you picked me up? Or, actually, is there a 3