A Chancer Read Online Free
Author: James Kelman
called: What d’you mean ya bastard ye!
Nothing, nothing . . . As Rab was returning the notebook into his pocket he said quietly to Tammas, You alright man?
What . . . aye, Christ – I just want to have it all in front of me at the time and that, see how I’m fixed for everything man, see what’s what.
Rab nodded.
Some choice . . .
What?
Naw I mean the chinky and that, a Saturday night.
Billy called: A couple of the boys are going up the dancing.
Aye, said Donnie, if you’d been in earlier ya cunt we might’ve got something organised.
Organised! We can fucking do it the now.
Naw we cant, too late.
Tammas shook his head. Think I’ll start going back to Shawfield.
You kidding!
Naw, this Saturday night routine man it’s fucking murder.
Aye okay but the dogs! Jesus Christ! You must’ve a short memory man!
Cause you go to the dogs doesnt mean you have to have a bet Donnie. Plenty of people go there just to watch the actual racing.
Aw aye! Donnie laughed and reached for his beer.
Rab said, Bad enough going to the dump but what like would it be without having a punt? Naw no me Tammas I’d rather have a few jars. And I mean imagine being over the night!
I know, cried Donnie, it’s fucking pissing down out there. You wind up going skint man and having to hoof it back up the road cause you’ve no got the price of a fucking bus
ticket!
Tammas was grinning. Hey wait a minute Donnie they give you credit fares remember!
No for Shawfield punters they dont! That’s fucking all stopped!
Lying bastard.
The others laughed. Rab said: It’ll no affect Tammas anyway. He’s just wanting to go and watch!
Aye well it’s better than fucking sitting here all night!
I agree, called John.
Nobody’s forcing you, Rab answered. He sniffed and lifted his beer, sipped at it while gazing in the direction of the darts’ match.
Donnie agreed. We’re fighting again, he muttered. Then he rose and added, I’m away for a pish out the road!
There was a brief silence. John turned to Tammas: Ever thought about emigrating?
Emigrating? Course.
Whereabouts?
Any fucking place!
Naw it’s just . . . John shrugged. An auld guy in the work, he was saying you dont need to pay if you’re under 21 years of age.
John! Billy was shaking his head at him: I keep telling you man that’s a load of fucking rubbish.
How do you know?
How do I know!
For one thing, said Rab, Donnie would’ve told us, cause his da would’ve fucking found out right at the beginning.
Aye but you’re talking about New Zealand.
Australia or New Zealand ya cunt it doesnt matter.
Doesnt matter! Australia or New Zealand!
No for this it doesnt.
What! You trying to say it’s the same thing? Australia or New Zealand?
Course I’m no trying to fucking say it’s the same fucking thing! Rab gazed at the ceiling and cried: Aw Jesus!
Well it’s two different countries man.
Tammas nodded. He’s got a point but, the John fellow, Australia and New Zealand man – two different countries! I mean he’s right enough.
Rab and Billy laughed. And Billy added. He still doesnt want to go – Donnie.
Ah he’s off his head, I’d go in a minute.
Rab swivelled on his seat, seeing Donnie coming from the
gents
, and he called: Hey Donnie, this cunt says you’re off your head!
What have I done now?
New Zealand!
Fuck New Zealand! If they send over Ibrox Park I might consider it.
Billy grinned and jerked his thumb at John: This yin’s trying to tell us New Zealand and Australia’s the same fucking country.
It’s no, said Donnie.
Bastards, grunted John, lifting his pint and swallowing a big mouthful. Then he said to Tammas, If you’re really interested man I’m thinking of sending away for the details . . .
I thought you were wanting to go to London! laughed Billy.
John looked at him.
Sorry!
Aye well no wonder – you cant get fucking talking in this place!
I agree, said Donnie, give the boy a break for fuck sake.
Hey . . . Tammas exhaled smoke and
Nothing, nothing . . . As Rab was returning the notebook into his pocket he said quietly to Tammas, You alright man?
What . . . aye, Christ – I just want to have it all in front of me at the time and that, see how I’m fixed for everything man, see what’s what.
Rab nodded.
Some choice . . .
What?
Naw I mean the chinky and that, a Saturday night.
Billy called: A couple of the boys are going up the dancing.
Aye, said Donnie, if you’d been in earlier ya cunt we might’ve got something organised.
Organised! We can fucking do it the now.
Naw we cant, too late.
Tammas shook his head. Think I’ll start going back to Shawfield.
You kidding!
Naw, this Saturday night routine man it’s fucking murder.
Aye okay but the dogs! Jesus Christ! You must’ve a short memory man!
Cause you go to the dogs doesnt mean you have to have a bet Donnie. Plenty of people go there just to watch the actual racing.
Aw aye! Donnie laughed and reached for his beer.
Rab said, Bad enough going to the dump but what like would it be without having a punt? Naw no me Tammas I’d rather have a few jars. And I mean imagine being over the night!
I know, cried Donnie, it’s fucking pissing down out there. You wind up going skint man and having to hoof it back up the road cause you’ve no got the price of a fucking bus
ticket!
Tammas was grinning. Hey wait a minute Donnie they give you credit fares remember!
No for Shawfield punters they dont! That’s fucking all stopped!
Lying bastard.
The others laughed. Rab said: It’ll no affect Tammas anyway. He’s just wanting to go and watch!
Aye well it’s better than fucking sitting here all night!
I agree, called John.
Nobody’s forcing you, Rab answered. He sniffed and lifted his beer, sipped at it while gazing in the direction of the darts’ match.
Donnie agreed. We’re fighting again, he muttered. Then he rose and added, I’m away for a pish out the road!
There was a brief silence. John turned to Tammas: Ever thought about emigrating?
Emigrating? Course.
Whereabouts?
Any fucking place!
Naw it’s just . . . John shrugged. An auld guy in the work, he was saying you dont need to pay if you’re under 21 years of age.
John! Billy was shaking his head at him: I keep telling you man that’s a load of fucking rubbish.
How do you know?
How do I know!
For one thing, said Rab, Donnie would’ve told us, cause his da would’ve fucking found out right at the beginning.
Aye but you’re talking about New Zealand.
Australia or New Zealand ya cunt it doesnt matter.
Doesnt matter! Australia or New Zealand!
No for this it doesnt.
What! You trying to say it’s the same thing? Australia or New Zealand?
Course I’m no trying to fucking say it’s the same fucking thing! Rab gazed at the ceiling and cried: Aw Jesus!
Well it’s two different countries man.
Tammas nodded. He’s got a point but, the John fellow, Australia and New Zealand man – two different countries! I mean he’s right enough.
Rab and Billy laughed. And Billy added. He still doesnt want to go – Donnie.
Ah he’s off his head, I’d go in a minute.
Rab swivelled on his seat, seeing Donnie coming from the
gents
, and he called: Hey Donnie, this cunt says you’re off your head!
What have I done now?
New Zealand!
Fuck New Zealand! If they send over Ibrox Park I might consider it.
Billy grinned and jerked his thumb at John: This yin’s trying to tell us New Zealand and Australia’s the same fucking country.
It’s no, said Donnie.
Bastards, grunted John, lifting his pint and swallowing a big mouthful. Then he said to Tammas, If you’re really interested man I’m thinking of sending away for the details . . .
I thought you were wanting to go to London! laughed Billy.
John looked at him.
Sorry!
Aye well no wonder – you cant get fucking talking in this place!
I agree, said Donnie, give the boy a break for fuck sake.
Hey . . . Tammas exhaled smoke and