Zombie Rules Read Online Free Page B

happened to me. The only thing I could really grasp was this ambulance ride to the local ER was going to be yet another bill I would not be able to pay for. The paramedic, an attractive blonde who reminded me of Macie, was asking me simple questions, what was my name, what day was it, did I have any communicable diseases. When she was finished she smiled and squeezed my hand. I guess I answered to her satisfaction.
                  The ER personnel were nice, but hurried. The place was full of patients. Even the police officer, the same one who gave me a speeding ticket, was very polite as he took a report of my assault. He was even kind enough to turn his head every time he coughed.
                  I had multiple contusions, a black eye which had swollen shut, a mild concussion, a rib or two were broken, and my testicles felt like someone had taken a jackhammer to them. The doctor said I would live, but would be in pain for a while. If only he knew how right he was. He gave me a prescription for some pain medication and kicked me loose, no pun intended. I had no insurance, I wondered if it made a difference in my treatment.
                  Felix and his father were waiting for me as the orderly pushed me out in a wheelchair.
                  Felix. What a friend. He heard what happened within minutes. Word gets around fast in High School. He called Macie, who was gracious enough to fill him in. He and his father drove over to get my truck and then hustled over to the ER.
                  The two of them stared at me with pitiful expressions. Mr. Stewart was an older clone of his son. He actually looked like Mr. Magoo. They both wore the same thick eyeglasses, they had the same build, and even their haircuts were exactly the same. They gingerly helped me to my little Ford Ranger and Felix drove me home in silence. I kept my eyes closed to try to alleviate the pain and prevent needless conversation.
                  “Okay buddy, we’re home - oh shit.” Felix gasped. I opened my eyes and looked. Someone had decided they needed to rub it in a little. They had spray painted some choice graffiti on the front of my house. Let’s just say there were some disparaging references to my gender, my sexual orientation, and my penis. Very nice. I guess losing one’s grandmother garnered little sympathy these days.
                  Mr. Stewart parked on the other side of the street and waited. He seemed not to notice the graffiti. Felix stared at the vandalism. “Bro, that is so fucked up. Why would they do that to you?” He shook his head in disgust. I would have too if my head did not hurt so badly. “You want me to stay the night? Pops won’t mind and I can try to clean this stuff up.” Felix was looking at me with those big pathetic eyes like he was the one who had just taken a beating.
                  I shook my head, making the pain worse. “I appreciate it Felix. I really do. But I just want to be alone for a while.” I was interrupted by a tapping on the truck’s window, which startled me. I guess I was still shell shocked. I turned my head quickly, which caused a bolt of pain to shoot through my body.
                  It was Felix’s dad. When I rolled down the window, with great difficulty, he patted me on the shoulder and suggested I grab some clothes and stay the weekend with them. After all, it was Thanksgiving tomorrow. I shook my head. “I really appreciate it Mr. Stewart, but I just want to go to bed. I’ll give Felix a call in the morning, how’s that?” He started to argue with me but opted not to. Instead, he nodded somberly and walked back to his car. Felix made me promise him I would call if there was any problem, and gave me one of his usual pats on the shoulder, which sent yet another spasm of pain down my side.
                  I made it inside and to my bed without too much pain. I was