Zoe Letting Go Read Online Free Page A

other middling authority figure. Not a stitch of makeup adorned her confident features, and a light sheen of oil cast a glare from her forehead.
    “I’m Devon,” she said.
    “What’s on the menu?” Angela asked.
    Devon turned to address the five girls sitting on stools behind her. “Ladies? Want to tell Angela what we whipped up today?”
    Five frail girls stared at their hands in silence. I was struck by the hollowness of their features, though perhaps it was an effect of the kitchen’s harsh fluorescent lights.
    “Tiger milk cookies,” Devon filled in. “Smells good, doesn’t it, Zoe?”
    I nodded automatically—what else could I do? One of the girls at the table glanced up at me with a murderous look.
Traitor
, her expression said, as though by agreeing with Devon I’d already erred. The girl bowed her head back down, letting a wreath of dark curls conceal her face. My stomach heaved. I clearly didn’t know the rules here yet. I didn’t know who was a friend and who was an enemy. Certainly the gaunt figures in front of me did not look eager to welcome me into their fold.
    “We’re about to perform the Mindfulness exercise,” Devon said, holding up a bag of dried apricots.
    Angela nodded. “I’ll leave you to it. Have fun, girls.” She left without pausing for a reply. I didn’t have one, anyway.
    I took the only free stool in the room. My table partner was a twiglike creature with blond wisps of hair, a ski-jump nose, and marble-like eyes. Her hands were as dainty as bird claws, save for the thin blue veins visible just beneath the surface. My own hands, by comparison, were as ruddy and robust as a farmer’s. I hid them in my lap self-consciously.
    Devon placed an object in front of me, then returned to her place at the front of the class.
    “Ready?” she addressed the group.
    Silence again.
    “Put the apricot in the palm of your hand.”
    I put the apricot in the palm of my hand.
    “Imagine you’re visiting our planet from outer space,” Devon intoned soothingly. “Imagine you dropped in from the moon fiveminutes ago, and you have never seen anything like this object before.”
    I looked up sharply. Was this a joke? The girls perched around me stared hypnotized at their pieces of fruit. None would meet my eye.
    “Turn it over between your fingers,” Devon said. “Explore the texture of the apricot. Let your eyes explore every part of it, as though you’ve never seen such a thing before.”
    The reverse side of the apricot looked exactly the same to me: like a piece of scrap rubber. Like something you’d see in the gutter.
    “Notice where the light shines on the apricot,” Devon said. “Notice where the fruit is dark in shadow.”
    There was no shadow, only wetness. My palms had grown clammy, and when I tried to pinch my fingers together they slid off each other like peeled grapes.
    “Smell the object,” Devon said. “While you are doing this, notice any thoughts that come to mind.”
    The girl next to me held her apricot between two fingers, like an insect. She dangled it one inch from her nose and inhaled. The girl who glared at me was hinged over so that her face was several inches away from the apricot, which lay on the table before her.
    I wondered if we were being hypnotized.
    “Bring your full awareness to the fruit,” Devon continued. “Do you like apricots? What do you like about them? Notice the smell of your apricot.”
    Play-Doh
, I thought. It smelled like Play-Doh.
    “Gently place the object in your mouth without chewing it.”
    I looked around. Five girls held the apricot aloft, watching it with the intensity of a chemist mixing formulas. The apricots levitated, but nobody ate. “On three, girls,” Devon said, a bit more firmly this time.
    What the hell was going on? I raised my hand.
    “Yes, Zoe?”
    “I’d prefer not to eat this,” I said. Five pairs of eyes whipped toward the source of the comment.
    “Are you allergic to apricots?” Devon