Waiting For Rachel: A Christian Romance (Those Karlsson Boys) Read Online Free Page B

from the store. The only gift he wanted that Christmas was the gift of Rachel’s love, and the only gift he wanted to give to Rachel was his heart. He’d love to start off the New Year knowing that his future with her was secure. But of course it could never be that easy.
    *****
    Rachel tried to keep from watching the lights of Damian’s truck blend into the stream of traffic on East River Road, but she failed. Once his lights were indistinguishable from the rest of the traffic, she slumped against the counter. Twice in one day. Rachel wasn’t sure her heart could handle it. Usually she saw him twice on Sunday, but she prepared herself in advance for that, and most the time he was busy with his responsibilities. Never had he just stopped by the bookstore twice in one day. Three times in twenty-four hours, if she counted the previous night’s visit.
    Pushing aside thoughts of Damian, Rachel quickly finished the deposit for the night. She closed up the shop then stopped at the bank to drop the deposit off before heading home.
    As she pulled into her driveway, Rachel gazed at the dark house and wondered, not for the first time, if she should sell it. She loved the house that had been her home for the past seventeen years, but it was really too big for a single person. When her grandmother had died and left the family home to Rachel’s mom, it had seemed like an answer to their prayers. They’d left Chicago and come to Minneapolis, both of them trying to escape heartache and disappointment by the men who’d betrayed them. Now the house had been left to her, and there would be no one to whom she could pass it on when she died.
    Maybe it was time to sell.
    Rachel grabbed her purse and briefcase from the passenger seat. Weariness enveloped her like a heavy cloak as she let herself in the back door. A familiar silence greeted her. She flicked on the light in the kitchen and tossed her stuff on the counter. Living alone meant never having to clean up after someone else or tolerate another person’s idiosyncrasies, but for Rachel it also meant being lonely.
    She grabbed a can of soda from the fridge and opened it as she walked into the living room. Her large Christmas tree sat in the corner of the room, decorated but unlit. Using her foot, she pressed the switch on the power bar near the tree. The tree burst into colorful life as its lights began to flash and twinkle.
    She put on a Christmas CD before slumping into her favorite chair, a plush recliner. Rachel tugged the blanket from the back of the recliner to cover her feet and legs, and wondered if the rest of her life was going to be like this. Loneliness settled deep within her.
    She’d resigned herself to not having Damian in her life as anything more than a friend, whether he wanted to accept that or not. It could be no other way. How could she open her heart and share her secrets, knowing that in the end it would cause heartache? Like it already had in the past. She had only to listen to his dreams of a future to know that what he wanted and what she could give were two different things. Oh, he’d be nice about letting her down -- he was that sort of guy after all -- but it would still hurt. And with her heart already hurting from the loss of her mom, she didn’t need any more pain.
    Rachel rolled the can between her hands and stared at the Christmas tree, the lights blurring as her gaze lost focus. This was the first Christmas she’d be truly alone. Last year her mom had still been alive, though the cancer had been eating away at her body. Rachel had spent a lot of time at the hospital with her, and in the end it had been time well spent, since her mom had died the following February.
    Negative thoughts crowded her mind, and self-pity crept into her heart. Rachel squeezed her eyes shut and prayed aloud, “Please, Lord, help me to get over this. I don’t want to dwell on the negative things in my life when I have so much to be thankful for. Just help me to get