Waiting for Callback Read Online Free Page B

off.
    ‘Instruments?’ Stella asked, pen poised.
    ‘Piano and er . . . violin,’ I offered.
    ‘Both at grade five or above?’
    ‘Er . . . no.’
    ‘Neither?’
    ‘No.’
    ‘Singing?’
    ‘I sing.’ Everybody sang, right?
    ‘Trained? Musical theatre? Classical? School choirs?’
    ‘No.’ Maybe not.
    ‘Dance? Jazz? Tap? Ballet? Circus skills?’
    I shook my head. Mum had slumped into a mortified heap beside me. All those hours of ferrying me to after-school clubs and I was a total failure.
    ‘Not to worry,’ Stella said briskly. ‘I’m sure there’s something we can put down. How about swimming, skating, fencing, horse riding . . . ?’
    I sensed my mother twitch into excited life, but I put out a hand to restrain her.
    ‘Would I have to be good enough to do them on-screen?’ I asked.
    ‘Or onstage, yes.’
    ‘Well . . . better just leave that blank too,’ I suggested, keen to have this over. I’d never realized actors were so talented. I’d just thought they were good at
pretending and either hot enough to look good on a red carpet and/or twenty feet tall in high definition (surely achievement enough right there) or weird enough to play ‘character’
parts without too much time in hair and make-up. But no; they can all speak in tongues and walk a tightrope while singing a show tune.
    Stella didn’t seem that bothered by my hopelessness. She shoved my mostly blank Spotlight form into the out tray on her desk and gave my mother (who must have been wishing she had lots of
other better-skilled children) a list of photographers who could take my headshots.
    ‘Turn up in a black or white top with a simple neckline; that photographs best,’ Stella advised. ‘Choose a photo that looks like you, no make-up and no touching up; it never
does to disappoint them when you walk through the door.’
    Which I was pretty sure wasin general.
    Stella’s Words of Wisdom
    1.
    There are far more parts for boys than girls and far more girls than boys looking for parts. My gender would certainly be a disadvantage.
    2.
    Most parts for child actors are playing younger versions of adult actors. The adult actors are cast first. Most actresses are skinny, blonde and beautiful. In other words, my hair
     ‘etc.’ was a disadvantage.
    3.
    Unlike Real Life, most roles require an accent that’s either cut-glass Queen’s English or Cockney – my accent being somewhere in the middle was a disadvantage.
    4.
    My teeth had better stay perfectly straight. Braces or, worse, wonky teeth would certainly prove to be a disadvantage.
    5.
    There are more parts for teeny little cute girls than for girls at an ‘awkward’ age. My age would be a disadvantage (although if I hung in there till sixteen there were
     ‘coming-of-age’ roles – bring it on).
    6.
    Puberty generally was a disadvantage (they had no idea). If I got fatter or spottier or too much taller or too busty (I wished), I’d be dropped like a Christmas jumper in January.
    7.
    If I got lucky and was picked for a great role, I’d probably be typecast and never work again, i.e. any early success would be a disadvantage.
    8.
    Obviously, failure at any stage would also be a disadvantage.
    9.
    All child actors would probably soon be replaced by CGI which would be creepy and a disadvantage.

From: Stella at the Haden Agency
    Date: 14 November 16:51
    To: Julia James
    Cc: Charlotte at the Haden Agency
    Subject: RE: Elektra James – contract
    Dear Julia,
    Thank you for sending over the signed contract today. Charlie and I are both so pleased that Elektra wants to join our stable of talent!
    We think we’ve become pretty good at telling which children will enjoy this mad(!) world, but we are very conscious that the reality of what can be quite a
tough business is sometimes a shock. If Elektra is unhappy or struggling or even if you feel that she is just losing her wonderful enthusiasm for acting, we really would urge you to let us know
straight away. We’re here to help