The Well-Spoken Woman Read Online Free Page A

consequences. Young women often end up dressed inappropriately for professional settings. A vice president for corporate communications says she has assistants who show up looking like an unmade bed. They can't sit without clutching at a skirt hem that is too short and too tight. They can't walk in four-inch heels. And they can't reach for a glass of water without exposing cleavage. Some women in some settings have the attitude to pull that look off—and more power to them. But they are the exception, as most of us want attention focused on our abilities.
    Dr. Dorothy Height, godmother of the civil rights movement, was always impeccably turned out and never left the house without a signature hat. Height said she would not be seen without the appropriate headwear, and for her that meant a piece spectacularly adorned with feathers, bows, and flowers. Height's attention to her public image sent a deeper message: “Too many people in my generation fought for the right for us to be dressed up and not put down.” 5 Dr. Height put her appearance on the agenda in such a way that she controlled it and could have pride in it.
    Step 2: Take Charge of Your Look
    It is not possible to change our culture's obsession with the external, but you can take control of how you want to be perceived. There are at least two ways to take charge of your appearance. One option is to neutralize it so that it becomes a nonissue. This would be the anti–Dolly Parton approach. Another tack is to purposefully accent a distinguishing feature a la Parton. The country-western singer has said her look is a country girl's idea of glamour: “It takes a whole lot of money to look this cheap.” 6 Don't let the self-deprecating humor fool you. Dolly presents her style with a conspiratorial wink. As she has said: “I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I am not dumb. And, I know I am not blonde.” 7
    The point is to be purposeful, whether you prefer a neutral look or one that will guarantee that you are noticed. Establishing that look can be especially tricky terrain for women who are considered either very attractive or very plain. For them, the focus on appearance by others can be all-consuming and a serious distraction. When an audience gets stuck on the exterior, they seem blind to the individual. The person inside disappears or is discounted.
    Former Michigan governor Jennifer Granholm is a Phi Beta Kappa scholar with a degree from Harvard Law School and movie-star good looks. Talk with her, and you discover she is a down-to-earth person with a hearty laugh. It took a while, but the governor, with the help of advisers, strategically adopted a look that was authentic to her and ensured her beauty didn't sabotage the agenda. The blonde hair was cut short, and she wore tailored business suits with feminine touches and a simple cross necklace. Although tall, she kept her three-inch pumps because she liked to wear them. Because Granholm downplayed her packaging, the pundits had to pass judgment on her record, not on what she wore to a ground-breaking ceremony. In a state rocked by the near collapse of the auto industry, voters gave Granholm a vote of confidence, twice.
    Singing sensation Susan Boyle with her never-been-kissed image entered our psyche with an incredible debut on a TV competition. Emerging from nowheresville, Scotland, Boyle was besieged by paparazzi and a public that openly snickered about her frumpy dress and heavybrows. The onslaught of unflattering photos and snarky comments nearly prevented her from being able to perform. With a modest makeover, Boyle was able to put the attention back on her rich, angelic voice. The point is that minor steps and small changes can ensure that appearance becomes a secondary consideration.
    If you haven't purchased a suit in years or have gotten feedback about your waist-length hair, you need help figuring out how to get back in style. On the TLC program What Not