The Seven Month Itch Read Online Free Page B

Mulholland used to say, ‘There’s nowt as queer as folk.’ I never really got that, but I put up with it because she made these Yorkshire pudding things (kind of like big battery dumplings) that were to die for, so I could forgive her for almost anything.
    Well, except for that dessert thing she called ‘spotted dick’. I mean, she said they were raisins in there, but … shudder.
    ‘Ready to hit the books?’ Toby gives me a toe-curlingly gorgeous grin and we head for the library.

    ‘And so, it looks like she’s moving in.’ I dump my lunch tray down on the table alongside Alexa’s and Toby’s, and slide into the seat in front of me.
    ‘What, moving in? And while Holly and Marc are away?’ Alexa’s eyes widen.
    ‘Thank you!’ I gesture at my best friend. ‘Finally, someone else sees it too. I was starting to think no-one else thought it was even slightly weird that my father is moving another woman into his fiancée’s apartment just a week or so before their wedding.’
    ‘So no-one’s said anything at all?’ Alexa asks.
    ‘No … well, except Vera. She hmpfed a bit.’
    ‘Who’s Vera?’ Toby asks.
    I turn to look at him. ‘Holly’s housekeeper. I told you all about her. Remember?’
    ‘Oh yeah. Sorry,’ Toby replies quickly. And maybe a strange look passes between us or something, because Alexa looks away quickly, across the lawn to the admin building, where, I know for a fact, nothing exciting ever goes on. Alexa hasn’t ever said anything, but I don’t think she likes Toby very much. I reckon she thinks he’s a bit arrogant. (Which he is, but we all have our quirks, right?)
    Toby puts his burger down now. ‘So he’s moving another woman in, huh? How long have Holly and your dad been engaged again?’
    I think about it for a second. ‘Um, about seven months.’
    ‘I see …’ Toby picks up his burger again, takes a bite and chews slowly while Alexa and I watch him, wondering where he’s going with this. He’s obviously ingesting that information, rolling it around in his mind, just as he’s ingesting that burger, rolling it around in his mouth. Finally, he swallows. ‘Seven months. Well, there’s your answer.’
    I frown. ‘What’s seven months got to do with anything?’
    Toby shoots me a look. ‘You, of all people, can’t tell me you haven’t heard about this.’
    ‘Heard about what?’ I ask. I’m getting more than slightly frustrated now. Toby can be so annoying when he wants to be. What’s he getting at here?
    ‘Come on, Nessa. Seven days, seven months, seven years? Scratch, scratch?’ Toby puts his burger down again to give himself a good, all-over, scratch.
    ‘You’re saying Nessa’s dad is a seven-year-old chimp?’ Alexa snorts.
    Guess I was right on the not-liking-Toby thing.
    She’s delivered a withering look in return. ‘Yeah. Sure.’ He turns back to me once more. ‘You don’t recall a little movie called The Seven Year Itch ? You were the one who made me watch it, after all.’
    Gasp.
    The Seven Year Itch . Seven days. Seven months. Seven years. Seven .
    Seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven.
    I forget about my lunch and clutch the table in front of me.
    It’s a sign.
    It’s a Marilynism.
    But, no. Hang on. Before you go anywhere with this, Nessa, there’s no such things as Marilynisms, remember? I take a deep breath and the quad’s freshly cut grass summer smell fills my nostrils. I exhale and will the Marilynisms away. But, no. The sevens in my head are here to stay. There’s no denying it. Susannah moving in. Dad and his work. Holly and Marc being away over the summer. The slowly rising heat. Seven months. It is a bit of a coincidence, isn’t it?
    ----
    The Seven Year Itch
    Like any sane Manhattanites, Richard Sherman’s wife and son abandon him for the summer and head for the beach. As the temperature soars in the city, Richard (Tom Ewell) watches all the other long-married men around him become ‘summer bachelors’ (read: