The Secret Desires of a Soccer Mom Read Online Free Page A

to be. “Let’s step it up a bit.”
    We walked in silence for awhile, each focusing on getting
our blood pumping. At least Jane was focused on it; my own mind was racing. She
was right: I’d reached a crossroads in my life. My children didn’t need me
anymore. Okay, they still needed me, but not as much as they had when they were
younger. And every year, they would need me less and less. It was time to think
about what I wanted. What would it take to make me feel fulfilled? Passionate?
Alive? Unbidden, my thoughts drifted to Karen’s love affair. I wasn’t obsessed
with it—really, I wasn’t. But lately, Karen had become sort of synonymous with
truly loving life. Before I could censor myself, I broke the silence. “This
might sound weird but…. Is your sex life with Daniel still satisfying?” There
was no might about it. It did sound weird.
    Luckily, I had chosen the right friend to open up to. If it
had been Trudy, she may have pitched herself into traffic to keep from having
to answer. But Jane reacted like I’d simply asked about her recipe for apple
crumble. (Not that Jane would have had a recipe for apple crumble. Becca
would’ve made it for her.) “We have an incredible sex life, but we really work
at it.”
    “Yeah?”
    “You can’t expect sex to stay amazing without putting in the
effort.” She looked at me then. “Are you and Paul having trouble in the
bedroom?”
    “No, I wouldn’t say trouble .” I could feel my cheeks
getting hot. “Sometimes, I just miss the excitement of our early days, you
know? Like when we were first together—the sex was so passionate and, so uh…
mind-blowing.”
    “You’ve de-sexualized him,” Jane stated frankly.
    “I’ve what?”
    “ De-sexualized .” She enunciated clearly. “It’s very
common with married couples—especially when there are children. You now look at
Paul as the family’s provider, the father, the one who does the yard work…”
    “I wish. It’s like pulling teeth to get him to mow the
lawn.”
    “And he looks at you as the caregiver, the cook, the
housekeeper…”
    “ And the one who does most of the yard work,” I
muttered.
    “It totally happened to Daniel and his first wife. That’s a
large part of the reason he fell in love with me.”
    Great. Now Paul was probably going to dump me for some hot,
young secretary. Jane read my dismayed expression. “You need to start looking
at Paul as a sexual being again. You need to resexualize your
relationship.”
    “Okay… how?”
    “Go back to a time before the kids and all the
responsibilities. Be more spontaneous, more adventurous, like when you were
first together.”
    “Umm…?”
    “Wear edible panties! Got to his office and give him a blow
job! Attack him when he comes home from work and make love to him in the grand
entryway!”
    “The kids would love that.”
    “You get the idea,” Jane said. “Our marriage counselor says
it’s the secret to longevity in a marriage.”
    “You go to marriage counseling?”
    “Preemptive measures,” she answered breezily, holding her
fingers to her pulse. “Daniel and I are committed to making this marriage work.
He can’t afford to go through another divorce.”
    When I got home, I showered and washed my hair, reflecting
on my friend’s advice. Jane was right. I probably had desexualized Paul, and he
had likely desexualized me. I had been naïve to think that we would still be
having earth-moving sex without making any extra effort. A good marriage took
hard work, and Paul and I had been resting on our laurels for too long.
    I toweled off, and then stood before the bathroom mirror,
naked. The woman who stared back at me still looked pretty good for a
thirty-eight-year-old mother of two. In fact, she could probably have passed
for—I don’t know—a thirty-six-year old mother of one? Other than the two popped
balloons hanging off my front, I didn’t look half bad. In fact, I was almost…
kinda… hot and sexy. Paul was lucky