The Next Big Thing Read Online Free Page B

Wednesday night and I had just downloaded the massive PDF file from their website. And I do mean massive. All things included, it spanned eighty-three pages.
    “That’s nuts,” she said, lowering her voice. “Why do they need to know about your orgasms?”
    “You’ve got me. But the entire application is like that. I figured the questions would be personal—we are talking about weight after all—but I had no idea they’d be this bad.”
    “Sounds intrusive.”
    “It’s an interrogation, that’s what it is,” I told her. “Have I ever made a sex tape? Do I masturbate often? How many men have a slept with? How many women ! What the hell does any of this stuff have to do with weight loss?”
    “Beats me.”
    “By the way, I do have some good news,” I said, switching subjects. “Nick finally wrote me back.” It was more than good news. Words couldn’t describe how deeply relieved I felt. I’d spent the past three days in a state of total anxiety over why he’d been out of touch.
    “Did he say why he’s been MIA?”
    I groaned. “That’s actually why I’m calling. He told me he was too busy with work to write. What do you think that means?”
    “Well . . .”
    “Come on, Donna, give it to me straight. I can take it.”
    She hesitated. “It’s tough to say. He could be telling the truth. From what you’ve told me, his job sounds pretty intense. He probably keeps pretty busy going to all those fashion shows, all that manly stuff he does.” She burst into giggles. I knew what she was hinting at.
    “Nick’s not gay,” I said defensively. “I know, you’ve told me he’s not. But you’ve got to admit, his job . . .” I knew I shouldn’t get angry, but I was. “Did you forget what I told you? Sexually . . .” I emphasized, letting my voice trail off. “
    Yeah, yeah, Nick’s into giving oral sex. Trust me, I didn’t forget,” she said. “You mention it every five minutes—you’re awfully proud of that, aren’t you?”
    “I am, actually,” I said sheepishly. It seemed an important conquest. It wasn’t often that I “got some,” and I was pretty excited about the prospect. The guys I’d been with in the past subscribed to the wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am sexual philosophy. It would be nice to be with a man who was concerned about my pleasure for a change.
    “Well, I’d better go,” I told her. “I just wanted to update you on everything. Now, I’ve got to get this finished before I go to bed.”
    “Have fun.”
    I got to work as soon as we hung up. The first couple of questions were a breeze.  
    Name: Katrina Lynne Larson  
    Age: 27  
    Height: 5’6”  
    Weight: 227 (Painful as it was, I put down my real weight without bothering to knock off the usual thirty pounds.)  
     
    Hair color: Blonde  
    List all previous boyfriends: That was easy enough. There were only three: Bryce, Josh, and Nathan. I thought briefly of including Nick, but opted against it. There was no telling how many people might ultimately see my application. And we hadn’t actually met, so I reasoned it was okay to leave him off.
     
    Favorite Book: I thought about this one for a minute. My real favorite book is To the Nines, by Janet Evanovich, but I couldn’t very well write that down. I needed something literary, something that would show the producers I was intelligent. I racked my brain, trying to remember the last important novel I’d read. After much deliberation, I settled on The Great Gatsby. It was one of the few books I’d been required to study in a college English lit course that really held my interest.
     
    I kept on for a while, jotting down everything from my favorite movie ( Pretty Woman ) to my favorite type of ice cream (chocolate chocolate chip). I told them I was an Aquarius, that I loved roller coasters, and that my secret dream was to be a novelist. Then things got uncomfortable.  
     
    How long have you had a weight problem? Since age ten.  
    Have you ever been given a cruel