something, anything. God, I was pathetic. But just as I was about to close the app another notification appeared. A message.
My fingers started shaking a little as I opened it. Yep, pathetic.
Ryker: I didn’t know if I did this right. I’ve never had one of these.
So I simply replied:
Your profile needs a little work.
I could see the little dots that let me know he was typing.
Ryker: I’ll probably never use it again. But I didn’t want to ask you for your number, I was too nervous.
You get nervous?
Ryker: Not very often. Are you busy tomorrow night?
I might be able to move some things around. Depends
Tomorrow was Sunday. My usual Sunday plans consisted of laundry and getting Brooklyn and I ready for the week. But I shouldn’t do this.
Ryker: Will you have dinner with me?
I shouldn’t do this.
Why was I even considering this? Was I ready to go on a date? Was I ready to see Ryker again? But it’s just a date. One little date. What could it hurt? My thoughts were all over the place.
Ok, sounds good.
Ryker: Will you send me your address? Can I pick you up at 6?
I would need to find a sitter. But Christy, from work, would do it. She was always trying to convince me to get out of the house. Plus, Brooklyn loved her and her daughter. I sent Ryker my address and Christy a quick text. She was happy to oblige, but demanded details.
Ryker: Goodnight, Nat. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Night
I tried to be calm and casual, but I was anything but that. I dialed the number I needed.
“Hello?” A raspy, deep voice whispered. Shit, it was 4 a.m. in Germany. Stupid time difference.
“Nathan, shit, I’m sorry, I know it’s late . . . or early . . . sorry,” I rambled. I knew I should call back later, but I couldn’t. I needed my best friend.
“Babe, babe.” I heard in the distance. “It’s Nat,” he said.
“Hang on, here she is,” he mumbled. I’m pretty sure he was falling asleep mid-sentence.
“Nat, what’s wrong?” Emily said, sounding wide awake and worried.
“Nothing’s wrong, I’m sorry. I forgot about the time change.” I apologized again.
“Nat, we’ve been stationed here for two years, how could you forget that?” Emily asked with a laugh. “What’s up?”
“I saw him!” I blurted out.
“Him? Who?” she asked. I could picture her sitting straight up in bed, so curious she couldn’t stand it.
“Ryker,” I said. There was a few seconds of silence.
“Spring break Ryker?” she asked.
“The one and only.”
“Shut up!” She yelled. “Sorry, baby, go back to sleep,” she said, followed by a kissing sound.
“On the beach today. And Brooklyn met him, and she loved his tattoos. They caught a crab, and then he friend requested me on Facebook, and then asked me on a date.”
“Whoa, slow down there speedy.” She giggled.
I took a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves.
“Ok, I’m fine now,” I said taking another deep breath.
“So, when are you going out with him?”
“I told him tomorrow, but I don’t know if I should. I don’t know if I’m ready.”
“Nat, sweetie, it’s been four years. It’s time you go on a date. But wait a minute, why didn’t he call you?” she asked, suddenly sounding defensive.
That was the question I asked for months after spring break. She watched me cry and mope around, waiting. She held my hand as we ate junk food and bashed stupid boys who broke our hearts.
“He said it was a long story. I need to know, too, so if I go, I’m going to ask him.”
“Not if, Nat, when. You need to do this.”
“I don’t know,” I mumbled, chewing on my nail.
“Please, go. For me. It will make me happy, and you should want to make me happy, since you woke me up at four in the morning.”
“Ok.” I giggled.
“You’re going?” she asked, her voice full of excitement.
“I’m going.” I sighed.
“Yay! And then you’re going to call and give me every dirty detail. But like, daylight hours, at least on Nathan’s day off.” She