The Gates of Winter Read Online Free Page B

to Farr's words. But it didn't matter.
    “So what?” she said. “So the Philosophers are trying to manipulate us. No matter why we have them, these cards still work.” She reached across the table and took his hand. “Think of what we can do with them, Hadrian, what we can learn. We never knew until last year that the Graystone and Beckett cases were connected. What other connections will we find with access to all of the files of the Seekers?”
    Farr winced, and Deirdre knew her words had stung him. It was cruel to mention Dr. Grace Beckett—whom he loved, and who was now a world away from him. However, Deirdre didn't care; he had to listen to her.
    “If the Philosophers really think we're their puppets,” she said, “then the joke's on them. We'll be reinstated and—”
    He pulled his hand from hers. “I'm not resuming my work with the Seekers, Deirdre. I'm resigning from the order as of this moment.”
    This was ridiculous. She glared at him. “You can't quit, Hadrian. I know; I tried it once. And you were the one who told me that leaving the Seekers isn't an option.”
    “It seems I was mistaken.”
    Deirdre hardly believed what she was hearing.
    Farr's face was haggard but not unsympathetic. “I'm sorry, Deirdre, I truly am. I know it's difficult. But you have to face the fact that we've lost.”
    “Lost what?”
    “Our belief.”
    She sat back, staring as if slapped. In all the years she had known him, Farr had never wavered in his quest for other worlds, had never stopped believing in them. “I don't understand. You were there, Hadrian, on the highway to Boulder. You saw it all with your own eyes.”
    “You misunderstand me. I haven't lost my belief in other worlds. It's my belief in the Seekers I've lost. And from everything you're telling me, you have as well.”
    She struggled for words but could find none.
    “To Watch, To Wait, To Believe—that was our motto. We thought all we had to do was keep our eyes open, be patient, and one day it would happen. One day the Philosophers would reveal everything, and the door would open for us. Well, the door did open, only it wasn't the Philosophers who did it.” He laughed, and the cold sound of it made her shiver.
    “Stop it, Hadrian.”
    “I used to believe the Philosophers knew everything, that they were infallible. But it turns out they're not. They make mistakes just as the rest of us do. Do you think our mission in Denver went even remotely as they had planned?”
    “I said stop it.”
    “We don't have to be their playthings, Deirdre. And we don't need them or the magic of their little plastic cards in order to find other—”
    “Stop!”
    She hit the table with a hand. Beer sloshed, and patrons turned their heads. Deirdre hunkered deeper into the dimness of the booth; the eyes turned away.
    Farr was watching her, one eyebrow raised. She drew a breath, willing the spirits to grant her strength. She was going to need it.
    “Don't even think about it,” she said, her voice low and dangerous. “I mean it, Hadrian. Leaving the Seekers is one thing. If you want to start a nice quiet life as a shopkeeper or an accountant, that's fine. But leaving the Seekers and continuing your . . . work is something else altogether.”
    He started to speak, but she held up a hand.
    “No—shut up for once in your life and listen to me. The Seekers have eyes everywhere; you know that better than anybody. And you also know how the Philosophers feel about renegades. If they can't be sure of your allegiance, they'll make sure no one else can, either.”
    She locked her eyes on his and listened to the thudding of her own heart. For a moment she thought she had him, that he had finally seen reason. Then a smile touched his lips—it was a fond expression, sad—and he stood up.
    So it was over; the words escaped her anyway. “Please, Hadrian. Don't go like this.”
    He held out a hand. “Come with me, Deirdre. You're too good for them.”
    She pressed her lips