The Finding Read Online Free Page B

response forced the smile to
fade from her face. She let her hand fall to her side and
swallowed. Kellen shifted his weight before exhaling slowly. His
eyes flicked towards her before lowering to stare at the floor.
“I’ll just be a little while. When I get back, I’ll heat some
up.”
    Clenching her
hands, she concentrated on the feeling of her nails digging into
her palms. Better to feel physical pain than to let the hurt settle
in her heart. He was lying; he wouldn’t be a little while; he just
said that to assuage his guilt.
    Bitterness
crept into her voice. “No you won’t. I...I know you’re gambling
again.” She watched his shoulders hunch as if to protect himself
from her words. “I’ll not pay off your debts again.” The words were
tossed out like a challenge.
    “It’s just a
few bets. You know, me and the guys playing poker. No big
stakes...” He brushed his hair from his eyes and gave a light
laugh. “Besides, it’s not like you don’t have money—”
    She was angry
and let him know it. “ My money , not yours. And I’m saving it
in case of an emergency.” Kellen knew that—oh, not the exact kind
of emergency she was worried about—but he knew she didn’t want to
spend it foolishly. “We live on what we make from our jobs.” Cassie
lifted her chin and glared at him.
    “Yeah, right.”
He was using his snarky attitude now, his hands shoved in his back
pockets, a sneer twisting his lips. God, she hated that tone. “Like
the money you earn as a cashier at a grocery store will ever make
us rich.”
    “We don’t need
to be rich!” The volume of her voice rose, even though she knew she
shouldn’t respond to his words. It was the same old argument.
Kellen always wanted more.
    Correspondingly, he spoke louder as well. “Maybe you don’t, but I
have no intention of stocking shelves and mopping floors for the
rest of my life. I want more than this!” He swept his arm out to
encompass the living room of their small rented home.
    Cassie knew
what he saw. Slightly worn furniture and an older style TV; tables
she’d purchased at a second-hand shop and draped with colourful
fabric... It wasn’t much, but it was clean and it was theirs. They
owed no one. She refused to acknowledge the stinging hurt of his
derisive words. While she was proud of how they’d managed thus far,
Kellen wasn’t content with the life they’d forged together. He was
always seeking that mythical pot of gold.
    She brushed an
imaginary speck from the small table beside her, then looked at him
out of the corner of her eye. Exhaling slowly, she tried to keep
her voice calm and reasonable. “Gambling is a bad habit. You told
me you’d quit.”
    “Just like you
quit the drugs?” He fired the words back at her.
    She folded her
arms defensively and looked away from his accusing stare. How
typical of him to try to twist the conversation around. “I never
promised you I’d quit. Besides, it’s not the same thing.”
    “No? I’ve gone
for months at a time without placing a single bet. Can you say the
same thing?”
    Cassie was
silent knowing she needed her monthly ‘fix’ as he called it, though
for far different reasons than he suspected.
    Kellen
continued, heaping blame on her. “Who else has a once a month habit
like yours? You lock yourself up for three days every month. You
won’t let me see you or talk to you... Hell, you even tried to ban
me from the house while you’re off on some freaky drug induced
trip.”
    She knew he was
trying to draw attention away from his own shortcomings, but the
truth of his words left her with no defence, or at least not one
she could share. Even after all this time, he knew nothing about
the three days from hell she suffered every month. Days filled with
fear; fighting the raging voice inside, struggling not to convert
into a monster capable of killing any person who got in her way;
hating herself and what she was. He had no idea of her
self-loathing...
    “I’ve heard