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the cabin. I crossed the back deck and sat on the stern. The sharp outline of the mountain stood tall and dark above me. Moonlight lit up a patch of snow on the very top.
    Gentle waves lapped against the boat and river sounds echoed from rocky crags. Somewhere up on the mountain an owl hooted. It reminded me of other years.
    Before Mom got sick all three of us used to go hiking into the mountains together. For the past two summers it had been just the two of us. The summer before, Dad and I paddled up the coast and hiked into the hills. We always liked exploring streams andrivers to find little mountain lakes where no one else went.
    This river was a perfect one to follow. With so much water there had to be a lake up there somewhere. If not, it wouldn’t really matter. Exploring was the part I liked best.
    Dad and I had our backpacks and tents on the boat. Tomorrow I would ask him if we could take off to go hiking together. He owed me that much. I mean, didn’t I peacefully accept this trip? Hadn’t I been helpful and uncomplaining? I’d used
the look
only when absolutely necessary and had not yet tossed Amy overboard.

chapter six
    The next morning I found Dad sitting on a folding chair on the back deck. I watched his eyes follow the winding path of the river and saw the old glimmer of excitement on his face.
    â€œI bet you’re right,” he said, sipping his coffee. “I bet there’s a lake up there.”
    Patti came out then, carrying a coffee mug. Amy trailed behind her.
    â€œDid I hear something about a lake?” Patti asked.
    Oh-oh
.
    Dad nodded. “Jessica and I might go exploring.”
    â€œWhat about me?” Amy whined.
    â€œThis is just between me and my father,” I told her. I looked to Dad to confirm it. What I saw did not make me feel good. He looked from Amy to me to Patti with a lost expression on his face. Finally Patti spoke.
    â€œAmy,” she said, “Jessica and her father are used to going on overnight hikes together. I think they’d like to get away alone.”
    â€œThat’s not fair!” Her whining got louder; she was working on a tear.
    â€œLook, Amy!” Patti said crossly. “You don’t think anything is fair unless it is your idea. Besides, you could never keep up with the two of them on a hike.”
    â€œI want to go,” Amy said stubbornly.
    Dad put his hand over Patti’s. “Maybe we shouldn’t go just now.”
    No!
I cried inside.
Don’t take this away from me!
    â€œAnyway,” my father continued, “I hate to leave you two alone on the boat.”
    â€œWe’ll be fine,” Patti told him. “What could happen?”
    â€œWell …” Dad looked back up the mountain. “I don’t know.”
    Please Dad!
I kept saying in my head.
Please!
Maybe I should have said it out loud. Instead, I gave him
the look
.
    Amy whimpered. Her lower lip trembled. “I’d be so-oo scared,” she said. And there it was, one big sloppy tear. This kid should be in movies.
    â€œI tell you what.” Dad turned to me. “Why don’t you and I just take a day hike? You know, get up early tomorrow morning, pack a lunch and see how far we can get?”
    I shrugged. “Sure Dad, whatever.”
    Amy smiled.
    Tears, two.
The look
, no score.
    I carried my sketchbook around the deck and sat on the bow with my legs dangling over the water. I opened the sketchbook to my letter to Sara. On it I drew a picture ofAmy being strangled by two huge hands. Her tongue hung out to one side, her eyes were crossed. Underneath I printed, The Brat
.
    I’m telling you Sara, it’s either Amy or me. One of us has got to go!
    You think you’ve got it bad with two little brothers and a sister? What do you say to a trade?
    Dad and I almost got to go on an overnight hike, but Amy ruined it. Dad suggested a day hike, but I’m not sure if I want to go at all now.
    And here I am