A.M., the city is bright and vivid. Even at three A.M., the streets are lined with cars and with people walking from casino to casino. Most are in winter coats. A few are in cocktail dresses, no doubt buzzed enough the cold temperature doesn't bother them.
What would Rosie do if she were here?
Get wasted.
But if she were sober? If she'd survived the overdose and clawed her way through recovery the way Miles did?
After she gave up on telling me to put school first, she'd find a gaudy venue, pick out an ornate dress, and spend our parents' money like it was going out of style.
There would probably be a horrifying bachelorette party with male strippers and penis-shaped straws.
I close my eyes and remember her room. It was loud, like her. Bright colors, ornate lights, flashy vanity mirror.
Perfect for a Vegas wedding.
God, I wish she were here. It still hurts that she doesn't exist in the world.
Miles is the only thing that makes it hurt less.
The energy in the room shifts. He's up.
He comes closer. No words, but I can hear his breath and his footsteps.
Then he's behind me.
Miles slides his arms around my waist. He pulls my body into his.
The world makes sense when we're pressed together.
Can I go another two months without those arms around me?
I'm not sure I can.
His lips brush my earlobe. "You look fuckable when you’re all pensive."
"Do I?" I arch my back to rub my ass against his crotch. I'd like to be thinking nothing. He can help with that.
Miles chuckles. "Princess, it's impolite to use your fiancée for his body."
"Is that right?"
He nods. "You keep going off someplace. Rosie?"
I nod. "She'd love a Vegas wedding."
"Damon too. He had a soft spot for whirlwind romances." Miles presses his lips against my neck. His hands slide around my waist, pulling me closer. "You've got an anchor tied to your ankle."
"Since when do you speak in metaphors?"
"It's something new I'm trying."
"For your lyrics?"
"For everything."
"I thought you were letting Pete take over writing Sinful Serenade’s lyrics," I tease.
"I'll have to punish you if you don't show me respect."
"Okay. Let's go now."
"It's not a punishment if you ask for it." He slides his hands to my hips. "You know I'm happy to fuck you any time, any place."
"And yet my clothes are on."
He presses his lips to my neck. "Remember our deal?"
"What deal?"
"No secrets, no lies."
"The deal we made when we were fuck buddies?" I laugh. "Another part of it was no falling in love. That didn't work so well."
"You can't blame me for that." He presses his cheek against mine. "I didn't realize how adorable you were when you blushed."
"Yes, you did."
He laughs. "I didn't realize how much I needed you."
"How much?"
"We're like puzzle pieces. You fit into me. I fit into you."
I turn back to Miles and stare into his eyes. "I don't know if I can do it."
"Get married?"
"I want to. I want to be with you forever. But... I don't know if I can survive your tour schedule. It's selfish, but I want you in my bed every night. I want your arms around me when I get home from work."
He runs his fingertips over my shoulders. "It's not selfish to want it. I want that too. But you know what I want more?"
"What?"
"I want you happy. And you won't be happy if you give up medical school."
"You won't be happy if you give up the band." I slide my hand over his. "We're at an impasse."
"No. We have a problem that we can figure out together."
"What if we can't?"
"We can."
"Let me guess. You just know?"
"Yeah." He pulls me closer. "Our first performance is in fifteen days. That gives us fourteen days for a wedding and a honeymoon. Or fourteen days to hang out in Vegas."
"And have lots of hot sex?"
"You think I could go anywhere without having sex with you?"
"Maybe I need to be reminded." I rise to my tiptoes and press my lips to his.
Miles groans as he kisses me. We had sex just this afternoon, but there's still so much time to make up for.
I pull my t-shirt over my