Silent House Read Online Free Page A

thought: How strange, I wonder when he could have seen me. I was afraid and didn’t ask, but I thought again, Doctor? Egghead? Then my father added: They say he has a good future, Fatma, I asked all around, hardworking and maybe a little greedy, but an honorable and clever man, think on it. I was silent. It was very hot, we were having sherbet. Well, I don’t know. Finally, I said, “All right,” and then my father made me stand in front of him: My girl, you’re going forth from your father’s house, get that through your head. He was telling me not to ask too many questions; curiosity is for cats, okay, Father, I know. And let me tell you again, my girl, don’t do that with your hand, look, and stop biting your fingernails, how old are you now. Okay, Daddy, I won’t ask, yes, but: I didn’t ask.
    I didn’t ask. It had been four years, and we still didn’t have a child. Fault of the air in Istanbul, I later understood. One summer evening, Selâhattin came straight to me instead of going to his library and he said, “We’re not going to live in Istanbul anymore, Fatma!” I didn’t ask, “Why, Selâhattin?” but he told me anyway, jumping around like a gangly kid. We’re not going to live in Istanbul anymore, Fatma, because Talat Pasha called me today and this is what he said:Dr. Selâhattin, you will no longer live in Istanbul, and you will have nothing to do with politics! That’s what he said to me, the son of a bitch. You’ve done what I said not to do, you think you’re such a hero, the Pasha said, well, I guess you wouldn’t like it if I sent you off with the others on the first ship to the prison in Sinop, but what should I do, you’ve been a lot of trouble, you’ve got yourself involved in the party, but you seem like a sensible man, be reasonable, you’re married, a doctor, you’ve got a good profession, you can make enough money to live comfortably anywhere in the world, how’s your French, my friend? Goddamn him! Do you understand, Fatma, these Unionists are going off the deep end, they can’t stand freedom, how are they different from Abdülhamit? Okay, Talat Pasha, if I accept your invitation and pack up my things right away, don’t think that it’s because I’m afraid of the dungeon in Sinop: no! It’s because I know I can still give you the answer you deserve from Paris, but not from the corner of a dungeon. We’re going to Paris, Fatma, sell one of your diamonds or rings. If you don’t want to, okay, I still have some property left from my father, or we can go to Salonica instead of Europe, why should we leave the country, we’ll go to Damascus, look at Dr. Reza, he went to Alexandria and writes that he’s earning a lot there, where are my letters, I can’t find them, didn’t I tell you not to touch things on my desk, and God, there’s Berlin, too, but did you ever hear of Geneva, they’ve become worse than Abdülhamit, well, don’t just stand there staring at me dumbfounded, get the bags and trunks ready, a freedom fighter’s wife has to be strong, doesn’t she, there’s nothing to fear. I was silent, didn’t say a thing, you know best, and I listened as Selâhattin, talking all the while, told me what they were able to do to Abdülhamit from Paris, how he was going to take care of this lot from Paris, too, how the day would come when we would come back in victory by train from Paris! Then he said, no, not Damascus, he said Izmir, and in the evening he was saying Trebizond would do, We have to sell whatever we have, Fatma, are you ready for sacrifice? I want to give all my strength to the struggle, that’s why, don’t say anything in front of the maids and servants, Fatma, thewalls have ears, but Mr. Talat, you didn’t even have to tell me to go: I wouldn’t stay in this whorehouse called Istanbul a moment longer anyway, but, Fatma, where should we go, say something, I was silent and thinking, He’s really just a child. Yes, the devil could only fool a child that