Sexing the Cherry Read Online Free Page B

said, 'I am defending the King.'
    'A noble cause,' said he.
    At this my neighbour claimed he'd never kneel before a king until he knelt before Jesus. Any time now, he said, the Rule of Saints would begin on earth and all the sinners would be burned up and confounded.
    I had no choice but to strangle him, and though I used only one hand and held him from the ground at arm's length, he was purple in no time and poor John Tradescant was swinging on my arm like a little monkey, begging me to stop.
    I'll spare him for your sake, sir,' I said, and dropped the ugly thing into his own midden.
    I thought no more of him but took Tradescant into our house for a pot of ale. He seemed pale, no doubt from his journey.
    I've come about Jordan,' he said.
    And it seemed that he wanted a gardener's boy at Wimbledon where he was laying out a great garden for Queen Henrietta. He refused to let the troubles interrupt his work. He had it in his mind that when the Queen returned from the Continent in triumph to the King, bringing the children who were hidden for safety, the garden would stand as a monument to her courage.
    But how could I lose Jordan, so dear to me and my only comfort?
    Tradescant tried all his gentle ways to persuade me. I continued to refuse, saying it was too far for my boy to travel daily. And yet I wanted Jordan to have the work, knowing how it would delight him to see such exotic things growing all in one place. At length I hit on a solution.
    I'll accompany him,' I said.
    Tradescant seemed surprised, so I continued.
    'I have a mind to take the air of Wimbledon for a time.'
    There's nowhere for you to live,' he said. 'Jordan will have to share with the other men of the estate.'
    I have a flair for architecture, having built my own hut, and I assured Tradescant that I could build another.
    He spread his hands, he sighed, but I knew I had beaten him.
    'And my hounds, I must bring them.'
    He asked me how many I had, and I comforted him that there were just a few at present.
    'When can I expect you?'
    'We will begin our journey tomorrow. In what direction is Wimbledon?'
    He said the coachman would be sure to know, and as he seemed in a hurry to leave I did not press him, thinking I could find out from the innkeeper at the Crown of Thorns.
    It was three days later that a half-wit went foaming and stuttering to Mr Tradescant, crying that the garden had been invaded by an evil spirit and her Hounds of Hell. Tradescant came running to the great gates, and he must have been relieved to see it was only myself holding Jordan by the hand.
    'Your dogs,' he said, and I saw his Adam's apple bobbing up and down.
    'Yes,' I replied, 'no more than thirty and only five ready for breeding.'
    He was a gentleman, and if he had seemed taken aback he soon recovered himself and asked if he might pay for our carriage and perhaps send help to fetch our belongings.
    There is no carriage,' I told him, 'and here are our belongings.'
    I raised a bundle of red cloth like a great Christmas pudding.
    Jordan had his boat under his arm.
    'But how... ?'
    'We walked,' I said. 'And when Jordan was tired I carried him.'
    Tradescant said nothing, but tried to take my bundle, which immediately flattened him to the ground. Very tenderly, as a mother knows how, I scooped him up in my arms, the bundle prostitutes kept by a rich man for his friends. The women were gracious but urged me to return in female disguise. That way I might be granted admittance. As a man, however chaste, I would be driven away or made a eunuch.
    I did as they advised and came to them in a simple costume hired for the day. They praised my outfit and made me blush by stroking my cheek and commenting on its smoothness.
    We drank unfortified wine, and when the custodian passed and asked who it was they were entertaining one stood up and said I was her cousin from afar.
    They knew nothing of the dancer. She was not of their company, though they promised to enquire among friends. How could they bear