Relic (The Books of Eva I) Read Online Free Page B

Jasper is considered one of the most eligible Gallants in the Aerie. But still, I don’t know how I feel about him. I haven’t allowed myself to experience any emotion since Eamon died. I’m fearful that, if I let in a single sentiment, the floodgates of grief will burst. Then I might as well withdraw.
    I don’t want to commit to anything right now, and I definitely don’t want to insult him. Nor do I want to give my mother a victory. So I say as little as possible, using her logic. “I understand. It wouldn’t be appropriate for a future wife to Commit to the Testing. No female has competed for over one hundred years.”
    Jasper looks up from the floor and grabs my hands. “That isn’t it at all, Eva. You have as much a right to compete as any other Founding family member. You proved to us all there are no Lex rules stopping you. And I don’t care what your mother or my mother or anyone else thinks about your behavior and The Lex for Maidens …” He pauses, blushing. “It’s just that I can’t stand the idea of you getting hurt, and the Testing is dangerous. I couldn’t go on if something happened to you.”
    I open my mouth, but no words come. I have no optionbut to hide behind my Maiden mask of modesty. Lowering my gaze, I manage, “Oh.”
    “Eva, I’ll do whatever I can to help you during the Testing, no matter The Lex, no matter—”
    “Jasper?” My father’s voice bellows from the solar. “Have you found what you are looking for? Evensong will ring momentarily.”
    I glance over at Jasper. He pulls the sealskin cloak out from under his fur mantle, where it had been all along.
    “Yes, sir. I think I have.”

The floor and bed of my bedroom are strewn with preparations. Bags containing maps and books;
kamiks
, bear-claw boots, and climbing equipment; excavation tools; bows,
bolas
, and my
atlatl
; tents and cooking supplies; a small
umiak
and oars; and all my wearable seal and bear skins. Everything that I might possibly need. Everything of a material nature, that is. I can’t pack courage.
    I use this clutter as a shield. Behind it, I am storing away the Boundary tools Lukas has given me, like my
ulu
knife. These items might be the difference between life and death in the first three Advantages. And then there’s my journal. The Lex forbids journals:
let nothing be so secret that you write or discuss it in private
. But since Eamon died, I’ve needed a place where I can be my true self. In the past, I was ableto act the Maiden—and be content with my role and my future as an Ark Gardener or wife—because I always had a reprieve with Eamon. A place where I could shed the Lex Maiden rules for a little while, climb the turret, poke fun at our mother, and engage in free talk. I could even whisper the banned Faerie tales I heard from my beloved Boundary Nurse Aga—like the one about young Maiden Snow who lays in a dream-state in an icy coffin, waiting for her Gallant to rescue her. Eamon begged for stories like these. This journal has to serve as a pathetic replacement for a conversation with my brother.
    “What are you doing back there, Eva?” my mother demands.
    I slide the journal and the tools under the largest bag, and meet her eyes to answer, “Just organizing my equipment.”
    She shakes her head, gestures around the room at the chaos. “Eva, all this must fit on your back or on the dogsled tomorrow. How in the Gods do you think you’ll manage?” Her voice is at its true level, but she is no less the Lady in her quest for perfection.
    “Don’t worry, Mother. It’s more organized than it looks. It’ll all fit.”
    She glares at me. “I suppose I thought you’d still have the sense to quit now. In fact, I thought we’d had enough of your un-Maidenly behavior long ago with that tapestry business.”
    My heart squeezes. I should have known she’d bring up that embarrassment: the ill-fated mark that ruined my otherwise perfect ascent toward Ladyhood. On the other hand, she has a