Pink Snowbunnies in Hell: A Flash Fiction Anthology Read Online Free Page A

hands. “It’s missing the pipe, but that can be replaced.”
    He must have seen the confusion on my face because he said, “You know what this is, right?”
    I shrugged.
    He put his fingers to his lips like he was smoking marijuana. “It’s a water pipe, my friend. A bong.” He looked at me. “So how much?”
    It hit me then, like an electric shock. “You know, I just remembered, I have an urgent appointment.” I ushered the man out the door saying, “Come back tomorrow and I’ll have put several items aside for you.”
    “But I haven’t told you what the scene is.”
    “Coming of age, fish out of water, got it. Goodnight.” I gave him a little shove, locked the door and rushed upstairs.
    Eugene was digging into the curry with a fork in one hand and flatbread in the other. “I think I’ll turn in right after dinner. Did you leave a light on for me?” Eugene hated the dark.
    “You’re not going to sleep in your vessel tonight. I’ll make up the guest room.”
    He looked up from his plate. “But why?”
    “Because,” I grabbed some sheets from the closet, “you aren’t sick, you aren’t bad at your job.” I tossed the sheets on the bed in the guest room and returned to the kitchen. “You, my giant friend, are stoned.”
    ***
    Twenty-eight days later, on the night of the eclipse, I stood in front of a focused Eugene, ready to make my final wish.
    “Do you think I’ll get it right this time, George?”
    “Absolutely, Eugene.” Although I was taking no chances this time. We were on a quiet beach, the vessel between us.
    He flashed a sheepish grin, a tiny tear in his eye. “I’ll miss you.”
    “I’ll miss you too, big guy.”
    He lunged at me, hugged me so tight my glasses popped off.
    “Okay, buddy, that’s enough.” I took a deep breath, looked him in the eye. “I wish you success in all your wishes, Eugene.”
    The giant genie contemplated this, then smiled, his gold tooth catching the sunlight. He bowed deeply and said, “As you wish.”
    In a split second and a flash of purple smoke, he was gone.
    Barbra Annino is the author of the Stacy Justice books, OPAL FIRE and BLOODSTONE—mysteries for your funny bone. Visit www.barbraannino.com for more information.

Of Demons and Bunnies
    By Nichole Chase
    “George, it was just a figure of speech.”  Gary stood gaping at the mountains of snow.
    “But you said that pink snowbunnies would ski in Hell before Tom got the promotion.” George shrugged his thick shoulders.
    “George, you let pink snowbunnies into Hell .” Gary scrubbed a hand over his eyes in frustration. “The boss is going to flog us.” His right eye twitched as one of the pink fur-balls flew off of the ski slope and landed in a pot of boiling oil. The hot liquid splashed onto Gary’s horns and he shook it off in disgust.
    “I want to know how you managed to get snow down here.” Gary’s friend Matt kicked a black hoof at the fluffy white stuff in curiosity. “It isn’t even melting, Gary. How does snow not melt in Hell?” Matt scratched his temple with a long, black nail before leaning down to poke at the snow.
     “Better question, where did you find pink rabbits?” Gary paced back and forth in front of the snow. “Did the Easter Bunny abandon babies in a park somewhere?”
    “Purgatory.” George tossed a snowball from hand to hand, looking smug. “Someone told me there was a store selling pink bunnies that guaranteed promotions.”
    Of course it had been purgatory. That place was an endless line of outlet malls that sold random junk to angels and demons.  A stand that sold pink bunnies would likely cater to either Heaven or Hell’s minions. It was probably the only place you could find a store that sold pickled lamb’s liver on one rack and silver linings on another.
    Gary sat down on a steaming boulder and covered his eyes. This reeked of heavenly humor. Those stupid, nosy, white vultures must have been eavesdropping again. They would think it was