Out of Grief Read Online Free Page A

sighed, starring at the plus sign on the test.
     
    “Seriously? I’m pretty sure we both know what you did to get pregnant.”
     
    She punched me in the arm. “Smart ass!”
     
    I rubbed the spot, which was sure to bruise. The news was unexpected, true, but Quinn had always wanted this. “You always said you wanted a baby. Is this really so bad?”
     
    “I wanted to be a mom, yeah. But I thought there would be a dad. How am I supposed to do this on my own?”
     
    “Lots of women do.”
     
    “You think I can do this?”
     
    “Quinn, you can do anything you put your mind to. You always have.”
     
    “What if the baby looks like him?”
     
    “There is that possibility.”
     
    “I want to do it again. Maybe the test is wrong.”
     
    “Because the first three were wrong?” I grabbed a tissue and took the stick, discarding it in the waste can with the others. “Hey.” I knelt down in front of her and took her hands. “What’s really bothering you?”
     
    “It’s not supposed to happen like this!” she cried.
     
    “Shh,” I whispered, pulling her into my arms. “It’s going to be okay. Really.”
     
    “What about when the baby asks who its father is? What do I say?”
     
    “I would imagine the truth.”
     
    “Your father committed suicide, honey. How’s a little kid supposed to deal with that, when I’m having problems?” She was looking into my eyes for an answer.
     
    “It’s not like he found out about the baby and did it. He didn’t know.”
     
    “You don’t think if he knew about this, it might have stopped him, do you?”
     
    “We’ll never know. Listen, whatever you decide, I will support you.”
     
    Her head fell against my shoulder, and she sighed. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
     
    “We’ll figure it out.” I kissed the top of her head and whispered platitudes. I had no doubt she would keep the baby. Her faith was too strong to let her make any other choice. I just wasn’t sure what the consequences to our friendship would be.
     
    Later that night, when she snuggled in to my arms, Kat’s words came back to me. “You’re like an old married couple.” She was right. We knew each other better than anyone else. We loved each other, quirks and all. We were connected in every way but sexually. In some respects, it was exactly what she needed, and I always wanted to be what she needed. But I had never been able to shut off my libido, and as she grew more and more comfortable with me physically, the opposite was happening for me. I would tingle at her touch. Her arm would accidently brush against my breasts at night, and my nipples would tighten. All in all, I was aroused, and I hated my body. I hated that I couldn’t just relax and enjoy being with her. But the truth is, I wanted more, so when my agent called about a guest teaching spot at NYU, I knew it was the perfect excuse to leave.
     
    The one thing we had always done was championed each other’s work and professional opportunities, so despite her disappointment, she said good-bye. I returned to my apartment in Sugar Hill, and what I thought was a very good life. But what I didn’t count on was how very much I would miss her.

Chapter Ten
    “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” I told Kat as we crossed the threshold of the Metropolitan Museum for the costume gala. I was dressed as Edgar Allen Poe, and Kat was dressed in a black unitard with wings like a raven.
     
    “You know, you’re a lot less fun since you came back from Kansas, Dorothy.”
     
    I wasn’t going to bother correcting her. She knew it wasn’t Kansas, and I knew she purposely picked a different place every time, just to needle me.
     
    “There she is.” Kat pointed to a statuesque blonde dressed as Marilyn Monroe. “Isn’t she the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?”
     
    Not really. I left the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known back in Ohio. “She’s definitely your type.”
     
    “So