couldn’t handle my Disney obsession. Everything is Disney with me, all the time. I only read Disney books, only watch Disney movies, only listen to Disney music. They knew that coming in, but I guess it got to be too much. Their loss! But this new girl I’m dating, she’s a Cast Member, so obviously she gets it. I think she might be the one!”
Jay has three kids from his prior marriages. “They were all into my Disney obsession until they got older, and then I guess it started embarrassing them. I had high hopes for my youngest, who is sixteen now. But she ran away a few weeks ago to live with her mother. It’s a shame, since now she won’t be inheriting all of this,” he says, sweeping his arms across the collection that engulfs his house.
“I was twenty-two. It was the day after my dad died,” he says when asked when he got his first Disney tattoo. He points to his upper left arm. “Snow White. As a kid I was in love with her. I hit puberty, and it almost became an obsession. Yep, I was obsessed with Snow White, and you know what? I still am!”
“You want to know why I like Disney so much?” he says before the question is asked. “We were kind of poor when I was a kid, so I had to work a lot and missed out on a lot of regular kid stuff. I had a paper route, and worked in my dad’s shop, and was home-schooled. My parents were very religious, and very strict, but they did let me watch Disney stuff because they saw Uncle Walt as a wholesome guy. One of the few books I was allowed to read was a Walt Disney biography and I really related to him because his childhood was the same as mine.”
“I’m not an educated guy,” admits Jay. “But I do okay for myself. When my dad died I sold his business and moved here to Florida so I could be near the parks. My mom, too. She’s out in a Tarpon Springs nursing home.” He grimaces and then smiles again. “I blew a lot of that money on my collection and tattoos, but my limo driver job is pretty nice, so I get by okay. And I get into the parks for free because all the Cast Members know me, so I’m usually there every day before or after work or on my days off, just walking around. Kids get a kick out of my tattoos, so I always wear sleeveless shirts and shorts. And even though they’ve never officially said anything, I think The Company likes me being there. Like I’m another one of their entertainers or something.”
“Okay,” Jay says, getting up and putting on his suit jacket. “Time for the day job!” His outfit completely covers all his tattoos, and he looks, dare say, normal. “Let me know next time you’re in the parks. I’ll get you in for free, introduce you to everybody, and get you backstage. I’m like a celebrity there!”
Chapter 4
I woke up to the Mary Poppins soundtrack, Dick Van Dyke’s annoying faux-cockney accent pounding my head with each broken syllable, followed by Julie Andrews’ nasally whine piercing my brain. I love that soundtrack, but at that moment I don’t think I’d ever heard anything more annoying. I wanted to kill the Sherman Brothers.
Even with my eyes shut, I knew I’d puked all over myself. I could smell it. One eye popped open, and sure enough there was a stream of vomit all over my vintage EPCOT Center t-shirt. My only thought was whether the stain was going to come out. I was pissed. My other crusty eye ripped itself open, and I vowed never to drink again.
And then I realized I had no idea where the fuck I was. This was not The Beach Club. But there was Disney shit everywhere. Like, seriously, there was Disney shit all over the fucking place. The pillows I was laying on were shaped like Mickey’s head. The blanket on me had a Lion King print. The coffee table next to me was a replica of the magic mirror from Snow White … which, admittedly, was pretty cool. There were little figurines everywhere. Stuffed animals. Framed art. Tapestries. All Disney.
“Where the fuck am I?” I asked