On a Rogue Planet Read Online Free Page B

in gods?”
    She studied his face. Nothing showed in his extraordinary eyes but she could swear he was curious. “Not really. I don’t like the idea of dancing to some god’s whim. I believe in doing every damn thing I can to make my life the way I want it to be.” Not that it always worked. She managed a shrug. “And when life’s out of control, sometimes you just have to wing it.”
    “Wing it?” His brows drew together.
    Something told her Xander Saros never winged it. She wanted to laugh but exhaustion washed over her like a wave and her eyelids fluttered closed.
    “Malin! Open your eyes.”
    She did. “So bossy.”
    “I was created to give orders.” A pause. “You can’t sleep.”
    He said it in such a tone of command, she gave a faint hiccupping laugh. “Keep me awake then, tough guy. Talk to me. Not that it seems to be your strong suit.”
    “Talk about what?”
    “I don’t know. You. Centax.” Her gaze landed on the silver implant at his temple. “When did you get your first implant? It usually starts around sixteen, right?”
    “I was eleven.”
    His voice was so quiet she barely heard him. “So young?”
    “Yes. I am superbly adapted to receiving enhancements.”
    “So they broke the rules? Isn’t that dangerous?”
    “There is risk of emotional deadening.”
    That didn’t sound good. “Which is what, exactly?”
    “The risk that the subject’s ability to feel emotion will be completely destroyed.”
    Sweet scrap. They’d do that to a child? “Did that happen to you?”
    A long moment of silence. “Most people will tell you that I feel nothing.”
    “It’s true, then, that CenSecs have no emotions?”
    “That’s what people say.”
    “And that’s not an answer.”
    “Most CenSecs have emotions. They’re usually just dampened by our implants and filters when required. It makes us more efficient at our jobs.”
    “None of those pesky emotions to get in your way.”
    “Yes.”
    “How did your parents feel about you getting your first implant?”
    “Honored. They signed me over to Centax Security.”
    Mal gasped, her chest heavy. “They…gave you away.”
    “Yes.”
    Just a single emotionless word. Mal couldn’t imagine it.
    Xander’s fingers flexed. “It made sense. I was well suited to security. And they had my younger brother, Axton, to focus on.”
    “Sorry, Xander, but I can’t understand how two people can make a child and give him away. My parents adored me. My mother died when I was young, and my father never got over her death, but I know he loved me and she did, too.”
    “I don’t believe in love.”
    Oh . “Really?”
    “I deal in facts. I have never felt love. I have seen people do terrible things in the name of love. And I have never experienced love from my family.”
    Her heart squeezed. “Never?”
    “They felt some degree of affection but on Centax, honor and achievement are just as important. For my parents, the honor of my selection to Security was a reasonable trade for the loss of a son.”
    Her heart clenched. But what about him? The little boy who lost his family? “So Security looked after you?”
    “Yes. They were responsible for my training.”
    “That’s not what I meant. Did someone care for you? Hold you? Hug you?”
    “No. Hugging is not encouraged.”
    A small alarm sounded, shattering their conversation. “Environmental systems failing,” the computer chirped, the synthesized voice too cheerful for their current situation.
    Mal’s eyelids fluttered closed. She was going to die, never having the family she’d always dreamed about. Never being the one important thing to someone. She reached out a hand, groping.
    Her fingers touched Xander’s cool ones. She grabbed on. Was surprised when he squeezed her hand. She wasn’t completely alone. She’d hold onto that.
    “Xander, I don’t think we’re going to make it.”
    “It appears you are correct.”
    The red alarm light flashed over them. Breathing was starting to hurt.