now you got me wishing I had stayed sober. How did I not notice you were missing?”
I breathed into the phone. “Beats me, but I’m beginning to think you need to brush up on your friendship skills.” My statement made her bust out laughing. “I’m officially deeming this your fault. If you’d been keeping an eye on me, none of this—”
“No. Nope. Don’t even try it, Brynn,” she cut in, making me smile. “Your lady bits, and who you decide to let sample the goods, is none of my business. My friendship skills are not what’s being called into question here,” she asserted. “Your sanity is.”
I almost spit my tea out. “I can’t stand you. Here I am, baring my soul, telling you all my business, and—”
“And I’m keeping it real like you knew I would,” she answered.
I propped my feet up on the coffee table and replayed the reunion with Marco in my head while Mona sat quietly. I pictured him again, sitting across from me in the booth, wearing a tee that fit just tight enough to show the hard lines of his physique through the material. His hair was cut low, buzzed with just enough left behind to cover his scalp. It was dark, thick, and kind of reminded me of velvet. I’d actually bet that was exactly what it felt like.
I’d gotten the chance to study his tattoos without him noticing that I stared. One encircled his left wrist just above an expensive watch—a saying scribed in Spanish. There were several others surrounding a more prominent one on his forearm—an artistic rendition of the Puerto Rican flag. It was designed to appear as if the flesh of his arm was being torn away, revealing the flag underneath. Normally, something that graphic, something so violent, probably wouldn’t have appealed to me, but on him … on him I didn’t mind it. It was art.
My hand, warm from my mug, touched the front of my neck as I continued to visualize him. The veins and striated muscle made the image on his forearm stand out even more, unobstructed by the presence of sparse, dark hair.
And his scent… That was one thing I hadn’t forgotten about him. It was like masculinity in its purest, most potent form.
Undiluted.
Enticing.
“So, what’s your plan?” Mona asked, jarring me from my thoughts. “Are you gonna track this guy down?
Biting my nail, I debated whether or not to tell her I’d done that already. Hell, I probably would’ve dragged her along with me if she hadn’t moved out of state, but maybe going alone was best. Maybe this was one of those things I needed to handle on my own.
“Actually,” I started, “we met up to talk early last Saturday. A week ago.”
She was quiet, which meant she was likely stunned that I hadn’t said anything before now. “Ummm, okay. So, how’d that go?”
I shrugged. “Fine, I guess. Could’ve been worse.”
Definitely could’ve been better.
“Well, what’d he say? You’re being really tight-lipped right now and, mmm mmm, I don’t like it.”
I smiled and relaxed deeper into the cushion. The conversation was still fresh in my head, including the lie I told about it being fine with me, whatever he decided. Of course I didn’t want to deal with this alone, but I also knew neither of us planned it. Although he didn’t come out and say he didn’t want any parts of this, I still got the impression that he really didn’t give a damn. So, because of what my gut was telling me, I was prepared to figure out how to do this alone; how to be mommy and daddy.
In no way was I suggesting that Marco and I try to be together or anything like that; I was simply giving this guy a chance to co-parent, a chance to know his kid. If he didn’t want that on his own, there was nothing I could do or say to make him want that.
I’d survive either way.
“He just said he needed time to process everything,” I replied, summarizing the conclusion Marco and I reached.
Mona was quiet and I could practically hear the wheels turning as she thought. “Are