Love & The Goddess Read Online Free Page B

there’s nothing to stop me. Just give me
some more time.” A grin twitched at the sides of my mouth. “Do you think I could possibly meet a straight version of you?”
    James rolled his eyes, then turned serious. “Kate, don’t make the mistake of thinking you need a man right now. Learn to love yourself first. When you’re vulnerable
you’ll attract the wrong type. I know you’re feeling rejected and wounded. But a man won’t fix you.”
    “God, you’d certainly know you were into ‘working through your crap’ as you call it. Why do I bother paying a shrink for advice when I can get the same spiel from you for
free?”
    “Because he’s a professional and I’m not. I just work my own process. Anyway someone close to you doesn’t always offer the best advice.” He struggled forwards on
the soft sofa. “I’ve got to head off, but now I know where you are I’ll come back to help with the rest of the unpacking. Are you all right for groceries?”
    “I can manage with beans on toast for now. I’m pretty exhausted. I think I’ll chill out in front of the television.” And I hugged him goodbye.
     

     
    Yet “chilling out” proved impossible. Anxiety was something I’d never been able to conquer. After a sleepless night in the grip of a demon, the first thing I
did was book an appointment with my psychotherapist – the one Trevor insisted spouted a load of rubbish.
    “At long last.” Aidan Whyte made an exaggerated gesture of joining his hands together as though going into prayer, bowing his head. What was he suggesting? I wasn’t in the mood
for complex mind games. Without meaning to, I lashed out.
    “I’m here to be consoled! Not mocked!”
    He ushered me inside his consulting room before he replied, nodding to the receptionist who sat filing her nails. “Kate, you’ve been coming for counselling on and off for many years.
Trying to put sticking plaster on a marriage problem way bigger than the sum of its wounds. This may seem …”
    “What are you talking about?” I leaned forward to stare at his round face, his thin spectacles sliding down his upturned nose. Judging by the amount of laughter lines on his
thirty-something face, it struck me that he must find the business of other people’s problems quite amusing. I’d have thought it would depress the life out of most people, yet here he
was dressed in a cheerful blue chambray shirt, cream trousers and matching sneakers, looking like he existed on a diet of positive thinking.
    “Kate, you’ve been in denial. You never wanted to look at the state of your marriage. You wanted to believe you would wake up one day and everything would be hunky dory. Trevor would
never agree to join you for counselling, yet you thought you could fix it all by yourself.”
    I couldn’t keep the amazement out of my voice. “You really thought that and never told me? What was I paying you for?”
    “I tried to get you to see it. He never wanted you to be a woman in your own power. He always had to be in control. This may seem like a crisis to you now, but believe me when I say it is
your greatest opportunity for personal growth.”
    “Yeah, right. James gave me that line too. He even gave me that book by Pema Chodron.” I rolled my eyes heavenwards.
    “Great book, that. I was going to recommend it to you. And yes, your friend can see that you’re a woman capable of grasping life – in a way you never felt free to do within the
confines of your marriage.”
    “That’s easy for you to say. I certainly don’t feel that way. I’m forty-four, I’ve got a twenty-year-old daughter, and my husband’s run off with another
woman.” I wrapped my multicoloured cardigan tight around me. “My marriage meant everything to me. I don’t know how I’ll survive without Trevor. I married him when I was
twenty-one.”
    “And you’ve never had time to find out who you are. Now’s your time.” He held his hands out, beaming as though he were