just_a_girl Read Online Free Page A

spirals or waves. Radiating left or right off the path. But arguing about this deviation was judged with suspicion. Failing meant you were frigid. F-R-I-G-I-D. And what hope did you have then.
    I was keen on passing this test. No-one was going to call me frigid. It was only when I placed my finger on a boy’s forehead that I was told. The test was for girls only. No such thing as a frigid boy. Yeah right.
    But by year 9 all us girls have one thing in common. We lust over Mr Martinelli who takes senior english. Who looks a tiny bit like Johnny Depp from a certain angle. From behind, says Davo. We check out our male teachers’ speedos at the swimming carnival. Hello, that’s what they get for wearing budgie smugglers.
    You’d think from what you hear. That the boys’ main aim is to talk girls into it. But most of my friends give headjobs because they want to. They go down on friends. They compare and it gets competitive. Sarah told me her first boyfriend Cam actually kneeled by the bed the first time they pashed in her room. As if she was some kind of sacred object. That he was afraid to dirty with his hands. She had to drag this fumbling creature onto her doona and teach him inch by inch.
    Cam was her best boyfriend. He always had crazy stories. My favourite is about this party he went to. Where they decided to order some pizza. To combat the munchies.
    Now here’s a list of things I’ve seen people eat at parties after too many bongs. That they later wish they hadn’t:
    Whiskas and dried cat food out of a moggie bowl (on all fours and Sarah got with Cam afterwards).
Saos with ice cream (that was me and it’s just as yummy when you’re not stoned).
Cigarette ash (always someone with wrong fingers in wrong bowl).
A whole chocky cake mix before it got to the oven (Sarah at her 14th birthday).
    But back to the pizza story. Cam and his mates send this guy Scott down the street to pick them up. With written instructions cos he’s so stoned. Four super supremes, ham and pineapple, a vegie, garlic bread and coke. When he gets to pizza heaven Scott’s past talking but still laughing. He shows the pizza dude the scribbled note. The next thing you know sirens are everywhere. A car slides into the gutter and cops jump out with guns pointed. Guys behind the counter hit the floor and our Scott is thrown to the ground, handcuffed.
    The cop grabs the note and shoves it into Scott’s face. He blinks, afraid.
    I AM ARMED AND DANGROUS
    I HAVE A GUN
    GIVE ME MONEY
    ANYONE MOVES
    THERE DEAD

    Scott, the loser, is 14 and can’t even read.

    Mum’s not happy that I’ve been going out with Davo. She’s never had that little talk to me about sex. But I know that’s what it’s about. Mum just can’t seem to talk to me directly. She’ll hand me a book. Or leave bits of paper lying around for me to read. My mum’s just not touchy feely. She doesn’t even really like being cuddled. When I used to try as a kid she went stiff. Her face smiled but herbody said no. But I know a lot more than she thinks. I’ve seen it all on the internet.
    Sarah’s mum actually took her to the doctor. To learn about the pill. After Jess got pregnant. How cool is that. Her mum said she’d rather know that her daughter’s at home being safe. Than out in a gutter with a guy somewhere. Sarah came home from the doctor’s with a handful of condoms. All coloured like a pack of jellybeans.
    I guess Sarah’s mum doesn’t want another daughter like Jess. Another crying baby in the house. Sarah gave the condoms to me. But I haven’t used one yet. I told Davo, If it’s not on, it’s not on. But Davo laughed and said he never wears them. Because it’s like having a shower with a raincoat on. We practised putting one on a zucchini at school. But I don’t know if I can remember how to do it. In the same class I had to do mouth to mouth resuscitation on a dummy. Sarah was yelling, Just pretend it’s Mr Martinelli! I was laughing so much I couldn’t get any