Hunter Moran Saves the Universe Read Online Free Page B

from our kitchen window.
    Zack and I dip our fingers into the holy water fountainand bless ourselves. I say a quick but earnest prayer, “Please let Pop calm down, and let us bring Diglio and his wife to justice, before Newfield goes kaboom.”
    We tiptoe out the door, dash around the side of the church, and stop at our kitchen door.
    Inside, we slide into our seats at the table. Dinner is a nightmare. Pop goes on and on about the water and why don’t we watch Steadman before he ruins the entire house.
    Zack and I glance at each other. Ah, Pop thinks Steadman turned on the water. Nice. We’re only the secondary criminals.
    Luckily, Steadman doesn’t defend himself. He’s too busy dropping wads of spinach onto the floor under the table.
    Mary has mush all over her face and doesn’t stop banging her spoon on the high chair for a minute. The rest of us sit stone-still because Pop is into his “I work night and day and now I’ll have to spend a month plastering the kitchen ceiling” speech.
    I glance up. The ceiling has blisters. A couple have popped, and water from the upstairs sink drips onto the floor. I look down at my plate, a hamburger curled up around the edges, weedy-looking spinach, and cheese potatoes, the cheese a little hard.
    I’d like to mention that I’ve become a vegetarian, excluding spinach, but I’d starve to death. Besides, Pop has veered into his “The boys belong in military school” speech.
    Linny nods at Pop, then looks at us as if we’ve just escaped from Rikers Island prison.
    William’s head is buried in his shoulders. He’s reading The Lightning Thief under the table.
    But Steadman interrupts Pop, looking thrilled. “Can I wear a uniform?”
    Zack and I begin to laugh, Zach spraying milk over the ketchup drowning his plate, and the two of us are sent to our room. Pop says he doesn’t want to see us for the rest of the summer.
    Upstairs Zack hands me half of one of his emergency Hershey bars. We need it for energy because what we’re going to do next is more dangerous than anything we’ve attempted so far.
    We have to break into Pop’s laptop.
    â€œYou’re a good guy,” I tell Zack. He knows it’s not because of sharing the candy. It’s because he doesn’t remind me that I dropped our laptop down the stairs during a fight with William.
    Zack and I sit on our beds slowly chewing the Hershey bar. We have to wait until everything settles down in the kitchen. And that takes forever.
    Dishes clang. Mary screams as she gets her bath and bed. At last Pop and Mom leave Linny in charge and take their nightly walk around Tinwitty’s Kettle. After all, Mom is a descendant of Lester Tinwitty. That’s why she judges the soup contest. A disgusting job, if you ask me.
    It’s a relief to have Mom and Pop gone. Pop will be happy by the time they get back, and we’ll have the vitalinformation from his computer on how to get rid of a bomb without blowing ourselves to kingdom come.
    â€œReady?” I ask Zack.
    He crosses his fingers. We just have to find out where Pop hid the computer tonight.
    â€œI’m ready,” says Steadman from the doorway.
    â€œTalk about spies,” Zack says.
    Steadman stands there holding a glass of chocolate milk. It’s filled to the brim, which is a surprise, because a river of chocolate wends its way down his pajamas, joining the bunnies who are chasing carrots from sleeve to sleeve.
    Steadman is the fifth kid in the family to wear those pajamas, but he’s done the most damage to them. They’re a mess of backyard dirt.
    But what does he care? The legs are almost up to his knees. Soon the pajamas will be handed down to Mary and he’ll get Zack’s old ones with footballs all over them.
    â€œIs Linny calling you, Steadman?” I ask, and Zack nods.
    â€œWhat are we doing?” Steadman says.
    â€œLinny probably has