Healing Love at Christmas Read Online Free Page A

Why?” That simple word cut him up inside.
    “ I love you, damn it,” he growled. She was all he could think about. Whenever they were away from each other he counted the hours until he would see her again.
    “ You couldn’t have loved me all that much.”
    Taking hold of her hand he flattened it against his chest where his heart pounded for no one but her.
    “ Feel me. Feel how my heart beats for you. I love you so much, Natasha. How could you think otherwise?”
    The tears rolled down her face making his gut clench. He hated it when she cried.
    “ What about that small brunette who came into your office building? I heard you, Jake. You told Mrs Watson not to disturb you.” She stopped, trying to stem the flow of tears as she bit her wobbly lower lip. “I’ve never seen her before and you can’t tell me she was there on business.”
    Jake tried to think past the wave of confusion. When had he told his secretary not to disturb him? He couldn’t put his finger on it. He had to fix this. There was no way he could allow Natasha to believe these ridiculous lies. He rummaged through his brain. While there'd been a lot going on in the past six months, a pretty brunette wasn’t popping up in his memory.
    And then he finally remembered, the thought sobered him instantly. He'd have to tell her. He released his hold and Natasha’s shoulders slumped as she rubbed her upper arms. Shaking his head, Jake walked slowly to the sofa in front of the burning fire and the purple and silver Christmas tree. He heard her enter and sit next to him. He could feel her heat against him.
    Out of all the things he had to tell her, this was the worst. Taking a deep breath, he gazed into the flames, his hopes and dreams disintegrating before his eyes like the logs burning away in the fire.
    “ That brunette you saw in my office six months ago wasn’t a business deal or an affair or anything like that.” His elbows rested on his knees, his head cradled in his hands. Jake could sense her holding her breath as he struggled to find his own.
    “ The brunette was a fertility specialist. Dr. Catherine James.” His face was red with shame.
    “ What? Why? Why would you need to see a fertility specialist?” she asked him.
    Looking up from the carpet to the burning flames, then to his wife’s face, Jake answered.
    “ Do you remember what we discussed when we first got together?” He turned, giving her his undivided attention.
    “ We talked about what we wanted out of life--family, friends, everything,” she answered. He could see the confusion on her face and it was killing him. She was going to make him spell it out.
    “ We wanted kids, Natasha. Lots of kids, at least four. Do you remember?”
    She nodded.
    “ I can’t give you those kids.”
    Silence fell between them. Jake stared at Natasha. Natasha stared at Jake.
    Natasha made the first move. She lunged at him, her arms circling his neck, holding onto him tightly. “Oh my god,” she gasped over and over again. She pulled him close and inhaled his fragrance, trying to get as close to him as she could. He never expected this.
    “ Natasha, you’ve got to listen to me.” He truly believed she hadn’t heard him. “I can’t give you the children you want.”
    He took her face between his palms, forcing her to listen to him. “You can’t have my children.” He repeated.
    “ I don’t care about that.” She kissed his lips to silence him. “Do you have any idea what I’ve been going through thinking you’d found someone else?”
    “ How could I want someone else? You own me, Natasha. I’m yours.”
     
    Natasha cried out with happiness. Out of all the things she feared or anticipated, it was apparent she hadn’t expect this. She honestly thought he’d found another woman to love.
    “ What about children?” he asked in between her raining kisses.
    “ I’m not going to lie. I would've loved to have your children. But I can’t imagine being anywhere else than with you.