grl2grl Read Online Free Page B

needed to make sacrifices. Major guilt trip. A whole day on the slopes,
     carting my skis and poles around, forgetting sunblock and searing my nose and forehead. I knew I’d blister and peel. A two-hour
     train ride back to Denver.
    I wasn’t sleepy, the way I normally was after skiing. I was wide awake, alert. Whenever Alex was near, I felt that way. Tingly.
     Wired. She’d come with her girlfriend, Courtney.
    Courtney.
    Jordan was conked out next to me and I was resting my temple on the window to watch the trees streak by in the dark, to think.
     About Alex, four rows ahead. How she’d smiled at me as I’d boarded the train and held my eyes as I’d weaved down the aisle
     past her. How she’d clung to me. Not physically. Psychically.
    Courtney wasn’t with Alex. She’d stormed down the aisle and plopped into a rear bench seat. They’d had a fight or something.
    The cold window penetrated my skull and made me shiver all over. I scooted out around Jordan to grab a blanket from the overhead
     bin. She flopped over onto my seat. You can’t wake Jordan up if you beat her with a ski boot.
    I scanned over the high seat backs for an empty row. The train was pretty full, but there was a double seat up front. In my
     moon boots, I clunked up the aisle and scooted over to sit next to the window. As I was unfolding the blanket acrossmy lap, I heard beside me, “God, it’s freezing in here. Mind if I share?”
    She didn’t wait for an answer, just sank down next to me and pulled a corner of the blanket over her lap, tucking it under
     her thigh. Our shoulders touched. She snuggled up close. My breath caught and my blood pulsed. Could she feel me trembling?
     Her knee nudged mine and I almost cried out. Maybe I did a little. She twisted her head and smiled.
    She billowed the blanket over our heads and leaned into me. “I thought we’d never be alone,” she whispered.
    “I know,” I whispered back. I couldn’t believe I said that. How fast it all happened.
    We giggled. We fooled around. Then…
    She kissed me. That kiss. It was light, at first. Questioning. My answer: Yes. Oh yes. Like an avalanche rolling and roaring
     to life, picking up speed, volume, intensity, power, the momentum carried me away.
    Alex was cool. Amazing. And unavailable.
    Courtney.
    I didn’t want to think about Courtney.
    We were meant to be, Alex and me. We were tight.

    But that was then. This was now. After Alex.
    My life was defined by three eras:
    Before Alex.

    During Alex.
    After Alex.
    Sad, happy, miserable.
    “You want to share?” Jordan said.
    “What?”
    She wasn’t talking to me. She and Teva slid their smoothies together and pinched their straws at the top so they could sip
     and kiss at the same time.
    I turned to stare out the window. There was life after Alex. There was.
    The first time is intense, that’s all. You never forget your first.
    The first time we made love was on a Friday afternoon. I had a test in biology, but Alex said I could make it up. The way
     she looked at me, touched my face.
    We did it on the living room sofa wrapped in Mom’s afghan. Mom took up crocheting after Dad left. Crocheting and crabbing
     at me. She was at work that day. Afterward, Alex was propped on her elbow, combing her fingers through my tangled hair. “Rach,”
     she said softly, lovingly, “you’re so good to me.”
    “You’re good to me,” I said. “You’re good for me.”
    She smiled. “Yeah. I am.”
    I lived to please her.
    I don’t anymore.
    “Rachael?” Fingernails dug into my arm. “You okay?” Jordan asked.

    I blinked at her. Where was I? Jamba Juice. Alex’s e-mail.
    I need you. I want you back
.
    The stirring in my stomach.
    “It’d be like one of those abusive relationships where the wife or girlfriend always goes back to the asshole who’s smacking
     her around because he says he’s
sorree
,” Teva mocked. Her head bobbed on her shoulders, braids clacking. Her fiery eyes flared.
    What was she talking