Fix Up Read Online Free Page A

a lot on my mind.”
    She nods and puts a hand on my forearm, her lithe fingers tracing a few lines of my tattoos. I’m too numb to feel anything, too numb to feel any tingles.
    “I bet it’s weird now that you’re going to graduate. That and what happened to that girl in Dr. Dills’ class.”
    I nod and check my cell phone before I redirect our talk to the material she needs to understand if she wants to write a good enough paper for the class. She listens to me closely, nodding and asking questions even. But I do everything on auto-pilot, still trying to ignore my conscience yelling at me, telling me how it’s not right, how I shouldn’t be here right now.
    An hour later she gathers her papers and laptop and stands up with me. “Thanks a lot for your help.”
    I shrug and adjust my backpack on my shoulder. “It’s nothing.”
    She comes closer to me, her shoulders back, her head tilted upward, eyes on my lips and my stomach ties itself into a hundred knots. “You didn’t have to help me, and still you gave me an hour of your time.”
    She leans into me, but I stay frozen. I don’t lean down, don’t step back. I just watch her mouth getting closer to mine, her eyes closing as her hands wander over my chest to fist my tee-shirt. When her breasts push against my chest, I tense, but I’m still not moving.
    Before I know it, her lips touch mine, and it shocks me. I gasp and push her away with enough force to send her flying back, hitting her hip against the table. Several heads turn toward us, and all I want to do is yell at them and beat myself to a pulp.
    I hold a hand up before Jena or Jana or whatever talks. “I have a girlfriend, and I love her. Next time, ask another TA or a tutor to help you.”
    I turn around and run out, fighting back the urge to throw up. I’ve never betrayed anybody in all my life. Never. And now, I’m madly in love with an amazing woman, and I do this? I let this happen! I went out of my way to let this happen.
    I stop my run and walk slowly to a tree and lean heavily against it. My heart is pounding in my chest. Each heartbeat tattoos, no carves that new screw up and the pain associated with it, a pain I feel and a pain I know Skye will feel once she hears about it.
    Why do I always do this? Why do I always try to ruin everything? Drinking alcohol was always a sure thing, I’ll just go back to that and be all set in my old ways. I clench my fists and close my eyelids tightly, trying with all my might not to lose it and punch a tree because I’m craving a release—and physical pain is a fucking great outlet.
    I feel too much, too many things, and I’m not made for this. Not anymore.
     
    ***
     
    SKYE
     
    "Do you have something you want to talk about first, Skye?" Dr. Marshall asks me as soon as we're comfortable in our respective chair.
    I nod, frowning deeply. I cried earlier when I was back in my room, and now that I'm here, all I want to do is bitch about Duke and curse him for the new pain he's adding to my already full plate. "Duke. Something's wrong, and I need to talk about it before I jump to conclusions and make some harsh decisions like I used to do when I first met him."
    Dr. Marshall, pen in hand and pad open on a blank page, takes a sip of coffee from a styrofoam cup on his desk. The smell makes my mouth water. "I'm listening."
    I take a deep breath but won’t close my eyes for fear of imagining Duke passionately kissing the brunette. I don't really think he'd do this to me, but I do think he's looking for something I'm lacking because what’s going on is not normal. "I talked to him the other day, like you encouraged me to, and he told me he needed time to be sure I'm ready to have any kind of real physical contact with him. He also told me he needed time to digest what Sean did."
    "It must be hard for you." Dr. Marshall finishes his coffee and throws the cup in a trashcan under his desk. "Did you take this as a kind of rejection?"
    "It is a rejection when you