Fire Always Burns Read Online Free Page A

“Come on, Andrew. You know you can always tell me anything.”
    “I got a letter in the mail today about my scholarship,” he started slowly. He stared out the window, avoiding me. He sighed, his breath fogging up the window. “I didn't want to say anything around Luke. There was more than enough bad news for one day without me adding mine.”
    “What did the letter say?”
    “My scholarship is going to expire. They gave me a grace period, with my dad dying and everything, but they can't save it for me any longer. If I don't go next fall, I lose it.”
    I let out my breath in a slow hiss. I knew Andrew dreamed of going to medical school someday. Ever since he helped a kid who broke his arm on the playground, he wanted to be a doctor. He was always looking up medical stuff and volunteering at a free clinic in the city. I always thought he would be halfway there by now, not still stuck in this small town and living with his mom.
    “Why don't you go? Your mom would understand.”
    “I wish I could," he said. He sighed, before continuing. "Do you know what happened the last time I left my mom alone for a weekend, let alone long enough to go to school? She called the cops and reported me a missing person. She doesn't know how to be alone anymore. I can't leave,” Andrew said sounding exasperated and tired. “She won't let me have my own life, but she doesn't even realize she's taking it.”
    He sounded so alone in the dark. So forlorn and lost. I wished I could take the pain away from his voice, absorb it into myself so he wouldn't have to have it anymore.
    “I'm sorry,” I said, saying the only thing I could think of. I could see his shadow shrug, his head slowly turning back towards me from the window.
    “It's not your fault. I'm just so frustrated. The worst part is she doesn't even realize she is doing it. I hate that I'm stuck in this stupid town because she doesn't know how to be alone anymore. I hate it here. There is nothing I want here anymore,” he said into the darkness. I was glad the darkness hid my features. Nothing I want here . I knew he didn't mean me, but I wanted to cry. The insinuation stung.
    “I'm sorry,” I repeated softly.
    “I didn't mean it like that, Holly. I just, I just don't want to be here anymore. I want to get away from this place. Away from the memories. I feel like I am just spinning my wheels here while the world passes me by,” he rubbed his forehead, trying to figure out how to say what he was trying to say. I stayed quiet this time, not really trusting my voice. Andrew could always tell when I had been crying, or was about to cry. It was like a superpower of his. An awkward silence started to fill the car, but before I was forced to reply, Andrew's phone began to wail.
    “Hey Mom. No, I... I'm fine Mom. I'm actually with Holly, we just stopped to talk for a little bit... Mom says hi, Holly,” he said as he leaned back in the seat. I could see his shoulders sag from an invisible weight as he spoke with his mother. “I'll be home in a little bit. Just turn the thermostat up a little... Yes, please start dinner. That sounds great, Mom.” A moment later he put his phone back in his pocket and sighed.
    “Tell me your troubles,” I said turning towards him.
    “What? No.” He shook his head, his lips keeping the no going long after his voice.
    “Come on. We used to talk all the time. Talk to me. If nothing else, vent. Get it out. No judging here. Everything stays in the car- you know the drill,” I coaxed. He sighed and flung himself back into the seat. It took a moment, but he started talking.
    “Mom 'forgot' to get the groceries again this week,” he said flatly.
    “I remember- I saw you at the store. You said she wasn't up for it,” I nodded encouragingly.
    He sighed and continued. I closed my eyes, imagining the scene he was laying out. I could see his mom, the layout of his house, the way their kitchen somehow always smelled of fresh bread.
    ▪▪▪
     
    Andrew