doing? This is insane!’
It is difficult to project my voice as loudly as I’d hoped given I am bouncing along behind his legs, upside down. I am completely incensed. He casually chats to others as we proceed along the corridor as if there is nothing unusual about me being slung over his body. His friends have a little chuckle as he informs them he is just giving me a lift to my next lecture. If I could, I would really hurt him very badly right now. Blood is rushing to my head by the second, making me look like a ripe tomato.
We arrive at the lecture hall and he carefully lowers me down on to a seat in the front row. He acknowledges the Professor behind his lectern, as if everything is in perfect order. He bends down to where he has placed me, holding my hands together and says with a smile, ‘I’ll pick you up after the lecture.’
‘You can’t be serious.’ I almost spit the words at him.
‘Oh, indeed I am, Miss Alexandra.’
I give him my best death stare as I hear the Professor say, ‘Right, well, let’s get started, we have a lot to cover today.’
With that Jeremy plants a kiss on my cheek, releases my hands and waves goodbye. I am so deeply embarrassed that I sink as low as I can into the seat, not willing to make eye contact with anyone. As I move my feet, I notice my bag resting underneath the same seat I had been delivered to. Nothing like advance planning.
I can’t concentrate one bit on the lecture. Instead I am fully preoccupied, focusing on firstly, avoiding Jeremy and secondly, revenge. How dare he do that to me? I scribble a note to a friend asking if I could have her notes for the rest of the lecture. I decide making an early escape would be the safest option, just in case he was serious about
‘picking me up’ afterwards. Fifteen minutes before the end, I slide out of my seat as discreetly as possible. I move silently toward the back door. As I walk out and glance around the empty hallway, I secretly congratulate myself for out-manoeuvring Jeremy. I start walking determinedly down the corridor, furious with him, absolutely steaming. As I gather speed and lengthen my stride, my legs suddenly fall from underneath me so fast it temporarily winds me.
‘What the —’ I exclaim.
‘Hey, gorgeous, you didn’t really think I’d fall for that, did you?’
Jeremy scoops me up into exactly the same position as before. Where the hell did he come from? He carries me by the ankles, over his shoulders all the way to the cafeteria.
Blokes are clapping and cheering all the way, congratulating him for being a real man. I am seething, to say the least. He deposits me on a chair and holds me with a firm grip around my shoulders and wrists. He knows too well I will run the second he lets go of me. I stare scathingly at his mates positioned around the table, all with smirks on their faces though their eyes pretend to look elsewhere around the room. Patrick and Neil arrive and place a tray in front of me — presumably my lunch has been pre-ordered so Jeremy has no reason to take his hands off me. Their smirks leave me with no doubt they think this situation is highly amusing. He senses me waiting for any opportunity.
‘Don’t try it, AB, it will only get worse for you very quickly.’
‘And exactly how long do you think you can keep this up, Jeremy?’ My voice is icy.
‘Exactly the same amount of time it takes for you to keep your word, my friend,’ he states. And damn it, he is true to his word.
This ‘carry on’ continues for the rest of the day. Eventually the thought of being hauled like a sack of potatoes and deposited into my last tutorial for the day and favourite subject, ‘The psychology of sensation and perception’, is too much for me, given it is a small class of twelve.
‘Okay, enough, Jeremy. No more. I have learnt my lesson. You win.’ He places me gently on the ground, the right way up.
‘I’m so pleased you have come to your senses, AB. I’m sure you didn’t want