DefeatedbyLove Read Online Free Page B

Harry during the war. It was far
more than passing acquaintance.”
    Daniel was stunned into silence.
    “Harry revealed all to me prior to our wedding. I was
shocked, naturally, but our course was set. The papers were signed and our
futures planned by misguided but hopefully well-meaning parents. My own parents
died several years before the wedding and I’d been living on a small income
from the Ashburys until I was old enough to marry. I had no other option but to
marry Harry. And he understood that, and apologized for it, as if it were his
fault. The stupid fool.”
    She finally looked at Daniel. “I’m sorry. He was in love
with you, you know. He told me so. But he’d lied to you, and he didn’t believe
you felt the same way. And so we went ahead with the wedding. But it only took
a day or two to realize what a horrendous mismatch we were. Harry was
despondent over your failed love affair and I was a frightened young girl who
didn’t know what to do. And so he made the decision to leave, I think to make
it easier on me. And it did. He supported me and I had no responsibilities
toward him. Well, except perhaps to avoid scandal, and now I’ve obviously
failed at that.”
    He couldn’t argue with her on that point. “He knew he was
spoken for when we met and yet he said nothing. I do not think he knew what
love was then, nor did I. War makes strange bedfellows.” She blushed profusely,
but he was beyond niceties. She was dragging up old memories and painful
emotions he’d happily buried.
    “I guess my hope was that you bore him no ill will for the
way things ended. I’d counted on your generosity,” she said with a rueful
smile, “but everyone has his or her limits I suppose. I do understand.” She
stood and he came to his feet as well. “Again, I’m sorry. For what happened and
for dredging up the past.”
    “I am the one who’s sorry,” Daniel said, feeling awkward and
guilty and hating the whole thing. “But regardless of the past, there really is
no way I can find Harry for you in time. I fear no one can.”
    “Yes,” she said with a sigh. “That is my fear as well.” She
smiled bravely. “I am glad that I finally mustered the courage to meet you, at
least.” She held out a delicate hand. “Good evening, Mr. Steinberg.”
    “Good evening,” he said with a slight bow as he shook her
hand. “Let me show you out. Have you somewhere to go this evening?”
    “Oh yes,” she said. “I am not destitute, by any means. As
you know, Harry has done very well for himself.”
    “Yes,” he said, sick to death of hearing Harry’s name
tonight. “Well then, let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you.”
    She smiled ruefully again and it was his turn to blush. She
laughed, surprising him. She was certainly resilient. “I shall,” she said
politely.
    Matheson helped her into her coat and handed over her
reticule. She took it and gave Daniel a puzzled look. “Why are women not
allowed to bring their reticules into your house?”
    He cleared his throat to cover his embarrassment. “Yes,
well, there have been incidents.”
    She waited for more, but he kept his silence until she
turned away with a shake of her head. “Good evening, again, Mr. Steinberg.”
    “Goodbye,” he said and she walked out without a backward
glance. Matheson closed the door behind her. Daniel stood there for several
seconds, staring at the closed door, wondering if he’d done the right thing.
Should his feelings matter in this situation? She was obviously in need of
help. But helping the wives of old lovers was definitely not in his plans. So
no, he didn’t need to feel guilty. Yes, his feelings of betrayal and
abandonment were completely relevant in this situation. Not that she’d betrayed
and abandoned him, of course. Her absent husband had done that. The same man
had abandoned both of them. But that didn’t make Daniel responsible for her.
    His confusing and conflicting jumble of self recrimination
and