Crush Read Online Free Page A

nothing left to lose, and our hearts
    turn red, and the river rises like a barn on fire.
    I came to tell you, we’ll swim in the water, we’ll
    swim like something sparkling underneath
    the waves. Our bodies shivering, and the sound
    of our breathing, and the shore so far away.
    I’ll use my body like a ladder, climbing
    to the thing behind it, saying farewell to flesh,
    farewell to everything caught underfoot
    and flattened. Names of poisons, names of
    handguns, names of places we’ve been
    together, names of people we’d be together,
    Names of endurance, names of devotion,
    street names and place names and all the names
    of our dark heaven crackling in their pan.
    It’s a bed of straw, darling. It sure as shit is.
    If there was one thing I could save from the fire,
    he said, the broken arms of the sycamore,
    the eucalyptus still trying to climb out of the yard —
    your breath on my neck like a music that holds
    my hands down, kisses as they burn their way
    along my spine — or rain, our bodies wet,
    clothes clinging arm to elbow, clothes clinging
    nipple to groin — I’ll be right here. I’m waiting.
    Say hallelujah, say goodnight, say it over
    the canned music and your feet won’t stumble,
    his face getting larger, the rest blurring
    on every side. And angels, about twelve angels,
    angels knocking on your head right now, hello
    hello, a flash in the sky, would you like to
    meet him there, in Heaven? Imagine a room,
    a sudden glow. Here is my hand, my heart,
    my throat, my wrist. Here are the illuminated
    cities at the center of me, and here is the center
    of me, which is a lake, which is a well that we
    can drink from, but I can’t go through with it.
    I just don’t want to die anymore.
    III

Planet of Love
Imagine this:
    You're driving.
    The sky's bright. You look great.
    In a word, in a phrase, it's a movie,
    you're the star.
    so smile for the camera, it's your big scene,
    you know your lines.
    I'm the director. I'm in a helicopter.
    I have a megaphone and you play along,
    because you want to die for love,
    you always have.
    Imagine this:
    You're pulling the car over. Somebody's waiting.
    You're going to die
    in your best friend's arms.
    And you play along because it's funny, because it's written down,
    you've memorized it,
    it's all you know.
    I say the phrases that keep it all going,
    and everybody plays along.
    Imagine:
    Someone's pulling a gun, and you're jumping into the middle of it.
    You didn't think you'd feel this way.
    There's a gun in your hand.
    It feels hot. It feels oily.

    I'm the director
    and i'm screaming at you,
    I'm waving my arms in the sky,
    and everyone's watching, everyone's
    curious, everyone's
    holding their breath.

Wishbone
    You saved my life he says. I owe you everything.
    You don’t, I say, you don’t owe me squat, let’s just get going, let’s just
    get gone, but he’s relentless,
    keeps saying I owe you, says Your shoes are filling with your own
    damn blood, you must want something, just tell me, and it’s yours.
    But I can’t look at him, can hardly speak,
    I took the bullet for all the wrong reasons, I’d just as soon kill you myself,
    I say. You keep saying I owe you, I owe… but you say the same thing
    every time. Let’s not talk about it, let’s just not talk.
    Not because I don’t believe it, not because I want it any different, but I’m
    always saving and you’re always owing and I’m tired of asking to settle
    the debt. Don’t bother. You never mean it
    anyway, not really, and it only makes me that much more ashamed.
    There’s only one thing I want, don’t make me say it, just get me bandages,
    I’m bleeding, I’m not just making conversation.
    There’s smashed glass glittering everywhere like stars. It’s a Western,
    Henry. It’s a downright shoot-em-up. We’ve made a graveyard
    out of the bone white afternoon.
    It’s another wrong-man-dies scenario and we keep doing it, Henry,
    keep saying until we get it right… but we always win and we