Consequence Read Online Free Page B

family talked about history, biology, and books. I ask Don whether it’s possible that my family isn’t Christian at all.
    Don is furious. He says, “You don’t choose God. God chooses you.” Don reminds me of all the Scripture I’ve memorized and all the verses about fools and the foolish things they say. He reminds me that I’ve told him I feel called to protect people, but I won’t even defend my own family. He tells me my grandmother is the kindest and quietest person any of us have ever met. He says, “That’s the voice you should be listening to.”
    1.6
    In January 1991 I sit in the common room at Gordon College and watch the beginning of Operation Desert Storm. Someone says they heard the draft will be implemented by the end of the week. Someone else says students from Christian colleges will be exempt. Students talk about just war theory and the writings of Augustine. No one talks about joining the military.
    I think about the recruiters from Bethlehem. I think of Mr. Kave and Mr. Gentry. I think of helicopters being shot down with tennis balls and of young children sticking grenades into the pockets of American soldiers. I think of the quiet professionals of the 82nd Airborne Division who feed starving refugees. I think of students skipping out on chapel. I think of long discussions about infant baptism and the pamphlet from the support group that suggested I might not come from a Christian home.
    In Bethlehem, Don offers me a summer job working at the church as an associate in youth ministry. I spend the summer leading Bible study groups for middle school students and taking them to amusement parks and baseball games. I organize a popular Frisbee match on Sunday afternoons on the church’s front lawn. I lead a camping trip into the Pocono Mountains and I organize work crews to assist the local soup kitchen. In the Middle East, U.S. troops are celebrating an overwhelming victory against Iraq. But the Kuwaiti oil fires continue to burn, and there is talk about Saddam Hussein hiding his weapons. And I’m ashamed not to be involved.
    1.7
    In the fall of 1991, back at Gordon College, I take a class on Romans and Galatians. The professor, William Buehler, a veteran, has taught theology since the 1960s. During the first class of the semester, Buehler gives a lecture on the dangers of the modern church. He complains about overhead projectors: “When I walk into a church service with an overhead projector, I turn around and walk back out.” He also talks about guitars and drum sets. He says, “And, for God’s sake, there should be no clapping in church. It’s not a Broadway musical.”
    The first chapter of Romans talks about men committing shameless acts with other men, which leads to a debate about homosexuality. Some quote other parts of Romans and say homosexuality is being compared to murder. They say Paul may even be suggesting we put homosexuals to death. As in the conversation about baptizing babies, I choose to stay silent. I avoid becoming a target.
    Buehler says the comparison of gays to murderers is the type of thinking he finds at churches with overhead projectors. He encourages us to read through Romans and Galatians before deciding we know what Paul thinks. He tells us to grow up and see the world. “Join the military,” he says. “And while you’re at it, transfer out of Gordon, get a real education.”
    In 1992, after three semesters at Gordon College, I transfer to Boston University. I doubt Buehler was seriously encouraging us to leave Gordon. But Gordon showed me something essential about how the church could move away from its responsibility to care and protect and instead choose to condemn and accuse. I was too afraid to confront it, so I left.
    I move into a Boston University dorm on Beacon Street over Christmas break in 1992. I arrive a few days early, to attend an orientation program designed for transfer