Chronicles of a Midlife Crisis Read Online Free Page A

her latest adolescent crush, Cody Summers. Cody Summers, played by the actor Wynn Felker, is the star of the sitcom I’m working on, Cody’s Way . The fact that Wynn Felker is not a precocious teenage boy with a knack for getting himself into trouble but a twenty-seven-year-old man with an enormous Hollywood ego does not quell Samantha’s affection. She seems to think I’m making it all up just to thwart her first true love.
    I perch on the side of her bed. “Morning, honey.”
    “What?” she growls, pulling the pillow over her head. “What time is it?”
    “It’s seven. I’ve got to head to work now, and Daddy—” I pause here, uncomfortable about lying to my daughter. But obviously I can’t say that Daddy is at the Sutton Place Hotel finding himself and booking appointments with plastic surgeons. “Your dad had to go away on business. So, can you get yourself off to school on your own?”
    She emerges from under her pillow. “Of course I can. Duh? I’m not, like, nine.”
    “Okay … well, that’s good then. You should get up now or you’re going to be late.”
    “Fine,” she grumbles, throwing off her duvet and stumbling toward the shower.
     
    THIRTY MINUTES LATER, I pull up in front of the Cody’s Way studio building in an industrial area south of Vancouver. “Hi Tanya,” I mumble to the receptionist as I wander through the inauspicious lobby toward my office at the back. When I enter the small, cluttered space I share with Camille, my friend is already seated at her desk, peering intently at a spreadsheet on her computer.
    “Morning,” she says, without tearing her eyes from the screen.
    “Where were you last night?” I ask, dropping my purse under my desk.
    She turns to me then. “Oh god! Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
    I’m grateful for her sympathy, but a little chagrined by the fact that my having spent the whole night drinking wine and crying is so readily apparent. As I start to explain, I feel the tears welling in my eyes. Before I can speak, Camille grabs my hand. “Let’s get out of here. We’ll talk in my car.”
    As we drive toward Burnaby and one of the prop houses, I explain the events of last night. Not surprisingly, Camille says, “That fucking bastard. Does he think he’s nineteen? God, men are such weak creatures.”
    “I know,” I snivel into a balled-up tissue, “they are.”
    “Seriously, you’re better off without him if this shows his strength of character. And Samantha’s better off too. How’s she taking it?”
    “Sh-she doesn’t know!” I wail. “He hasn’t told her yet.”
    “Oh my god! You’re kidding me. He just walked out and left you to deal with the aftermath? Do you see what kind of person he really is? He’s a selfish, self-absorbed dick with the emotional maturity of a twelve-year-old. Seriously, you don’t need a piece of shit like him in your life.”
    “He’s not that bad,” I say, for some reason a little defensive. I was married to the guy for sixteen years. “I told him he needs to come talk to her, and I’m sure he will.”
    Camille pulls the car into the parking lot outside the large warehouse building and turns off the ignition. “Stay here and get yourself together. I’ll go in and look for the stuff we need. I want you to take it easy today, and tonight, I’ll come over with some booze and we’ll talk this whole thing out.”
    “’Kay.”
    “And remember,”she says as she hops out of the Explorer, “in the long run, you’ll be glad all this happened. I promise.”

Trent
    I ’ M WITH CLIENTS ALL MORNING, which is a good distraction. Of course, I can’t help but catch a glimpse of Annika as she escorts a young couple out of her office. God, she’s sexy. She’s a little heavier than Lucy, but in all the right places. And that hair … I just want to grab it, pull her head back, and suck on her neck. She glances my way and I wave. It feels juvenile, not to mention unprofessional, to wave at the girl you’re