Chasing Butterflies Read Online Free Page A

a swing or two, wanting my life to end knowing nothing good would come from my brother’s death.
    “James, stop. Sandy’s dead.”
    Dad listened to Mom for once and his hand dropped to his side while I panted. Mom’s words echoed in my head, and I dropped to my knees. Water leaked from my eyes as it sank down deep. He wasn’t coming home. He wouldn’t rescue us. I was Mom’s only hope.
    “What?” Dad murmured.
    “Sandy died last night from IED,” Mom answered.
    Like me, my father wanted to break something. It turned out I was the only thing he could break that would eventually mend. In my prone positon, he gave me no defense. No matter how hard I fought back, the blows rained down as I sought oblivion.
    Before it came, I yelled in my head at God and the government. My brother died for his country, making this world a safer place. Only if I lived through the nightmare, his death made me less safe. Dad was sure to continue to show his displeasure that I was his surviving son.

Frozen with shock, I gaped at my best friend.
    “Don’t judge,” Debbie said.
    “I’m not judging,” I snapped right back.
    “Yes, you are.”
    We were getting nowhere. “I’m not. I’m just surprised.”
    “We don’t all have it easy like you.”
    The divide between us had been growing ever since we started high school nearly two years ago. We were almost the end of our sophomore year, and I wondered if our friendship would last.
    “Easy?” I said, a lot calmer than I felt. “Your house is twice the size of mine. Your parents aren’t threatening to use your college fund to pay bills. You don’t have to get a job this summer like I do. You’re going on vacation while I work.”
    That shut her up for all of two seconds.
    “Maybe not. But you could have any boy you wanted. And you have the hottest guy in school, who happens to be the richest. He’s throwing you a sweet sixteen birthday party and you’re complaining. All I’m saying is, if he wants to bang you and you don’t, throw the guy a bone and give him a blow job instead.”
    “You say that like you’ve done it before.”
    She shrugged, and I was sure my eyes popped out of my head Looney Tunes style.
    “Why haven’t you told me? I thought you were my best friend.”
    She stepped back and glared at me. Then she folded her arms across her chest like I should know the answer to my own question. Finally, I said nothing and matched her stare.
    “You want to know why?” I nodded. “Because of how you’re acting now.”
    “How I’m acting? I feel like I don’t know you. And you’re keeping secrets. I would never judge you. You are the prettiest girl I know. I think you deserve a great guy. But I wouldn’t hold anything you did against you.”
    A few more seconds passed before she deflated. “Shit, I’m sorry.” She hugged me. “I should have told you, and I will. I’ll tell you tonight.”
    Tears stung the back of my eyes as I hugged her back. “We are such idiots.”
    She agreed. “I’ll be at your house tomorrow at eight to pick you up. And I’ll call you tonight and give you the details on how to give the best BJ ever.”
    I tried not to stiffen and managed to maintain a smile on my face. I went to the media center for lunch, wanting to avoid more sex talk with Debbie. What I didn’t expect was to see Trina sitting at one of the tables. She smiled at me, and I smiled back. I sat at a different table because it wasn’t like we were friends. She actually got up and came over.
    “Surprised to see the school slut in the library? Well, newsflash, I can read.”
    For the second time today I was being called out for judging people. I didn’t think I was that kind of person.
    “I’m sorry. I guess I was surprised to see you here.”
    She sat back in her seat and her eyebrow arched. “At least you’re honest. Most people in this godforsaken school aren’t. But I guess I brought it all on myself. I sleep with one guy who can’t keep his mouth shut and