Caught Up In You Read Online Free Page A

act.
He had taught me what to show and what not to show my therapists and councilors.
I owed him a lot. I knew that, but it ran deeper. I had become dependant on
him, and that was dangerous. I hadn’t allowed myself to become like that with someone
in a long time. I was with Nathan, but in a different way.
    I wasn’t so much as dependent on Nathan
as I was attached to him. Nathan felt like he was apart of my soul, a part of
my being. A part I hadn’t even realized was missing until I found him. And just
as quick as I had that piece back, I had lost it again. I feared I would never
feel complete again.
    Thinking about Nathan immediately pushes
my emotions to the edge and I try with all I have to push him from my mind.
Gosh, I needed Eric right now. I close my eyes and try to pretend he’s here
with me. His hands on my shoulders, his masculine voice talking softly but firmly
in my ear. Remember to show them what they want to hear, always
make eye contact, don’t act scared. Nothing to be scared of, just keep your
emotions in check. Don’t let your voice catch. Be cautious, but not obvious . I repeat all these things over and over
again in my mind. I’m trying to let these thoughts take over me, trying to
bring myself to a place of calmness.
    Boom. Boom. Boom.
    Someone’s pounding on the bathroom door.
Great. So much for getting to my calm place. I pick
myself up off the ground and take a glance at myself in the mirror. I look
terrified, and I know it. I throw some cold water on my face. As soon as I make
eye contact with my reflection again I yank my hair down from the bun it’s in.
I’m hoping it will somehow help hide my suddenly pale expression.
    “You can do this,” I tell myself firmly.
    Then I head to the door and flip the
light off behind me without a second glace back. The door slams shut behind me
and I realize no ones even waiting for the bathroom. Typical.
    I sigh then head back down the hall
toward the waiting room.
      As soon as I sit down, I feel my aunt’s eyes on me.
    “Nervous?” She’s changed from her white
suit into a pair of skinny jeans and an oversized blue sweater. She has the
outfit paired with some long black boots. Her hair and make up are still
perfect. She added a small pair of gold hoops to her ears for good measure. I
wish just once I could look that good without even trying.
    “Nervous?” I ask, trying to keep the
shake out of my voice, “Why would I be nervous?”
    My aunt picks up a magazine casually off
the table sitting next to her, deciding to play along. “Oh, no reason. I’m just
saying if you were, it would be okay. I mean , I know I
would be. It’s always scary trying new things.”
    “This isn’t a new thing, I’ve done this
before.”
    “Sure,” she says nodding, “but never
here.”
    Of course I’m nervous, but no way I want
to tell my Aunt Jenna that. I mean, hasn’t she got enough on her hands without
trying to take care of her crazy niece even more? I already feel bad enough for
all the extra stress I have put on her. I mean , she
acts like she’s happy to do it, like it’s no big deal, but still. I get this
weird vibe from her sometimes, like there’s more to the story. Like she almost
wants to say more, but cant. Which makes me more stressed, the last thing I
need from anyone is more secrets. It’s crazy to think there could be even more
things that just can’t seem to be said.
    “I’m fine, just fine.” I smile as if to
prove just how true this statement is. My aunts not stupid and I know she’s not
buying it, but she drops it anyway.       
    I glance around the room, taking in the cinerary.
Eric taught me a long time ago that you couldn’t judge any doctor off their
waiting room or surroundings. When I first got to the wellness center I thought
I could manipulate the doctors in some way based on what was around me in their
office, based on what they surround themselves with. I learned quick that most therapists
waiting’s rooms are