Can't Hold Back Read Online Free Page A

Can't Hold Back
Book: Can't Hold Back Read Online Free
Author: Serena Bell
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about both Gabi and other staff members.
    A scrap of deep voice caught her attention. Nate was sitting not far away, with a bunch of guys, chatting amiably.
Huh.
But she guessed it made sense. He didn’t hate the world, only
her
—and she had to admit he had good reason.
    Like you helped Becca?
    She hadn’t tried to apologize or explain her past behavior
.
Instead, she’d paddled away from him, because she’d known she was too hurt and angry to continue the conversation. But she hadn’t given up on the idea of helping him with his pain. Far from making her feel like she shouldn’t interfere, his accusatory tone on the lake had reminded her how much she owed him.
I could make up for what I did. I could give him something back in exchange for what I took away.
    He looked like hell. Gray-faced, hollow-eyed, scruffy, like he hadn’t seen a razor in days. It had been two years since she’d seen him, but he could have been ten years older. And he’d lost weight. Before, he’d been built like a running back, packed solid into T-shirts and jeans that were loose now.
    He’d been golden, irresistible, one hundred percent confident.
    But that was all history. Nate’s vitality, his dazzle, how Alia had given him, like a twisted gift, to Becca. And how that had come back to haunt all three of them.
    Right now, he was just a guy who hurt. Who needed help. She could totally handle that. She’d figure out a way to get him in her office, on her table. She’d get him talking, track the pain to its source, root it out.
    “Earth to Alia!”
    “Ah. Just trying to figure out a work problem. Sorry, I’m here. You were saying. Husbands protect you from the hordes.”
    “At least Joe provides some services above and beyond security,” Gabi said to Melinda, with the expressive equivalent of a wink-wink, nudge-nudge.
    “Joe does earn his keep,” said Melinda, contentedly.
    Alia grinned.
    “So, no one special in your life?”
    Both women leaned in, eyes gleaming.
    “No. Last boyfriend was about six months ago, and I’m actually enjoying the dry spell.”
    “Is there a story to go with Mr. Last Boyfriend?”
    “Peter.” She told the story, such as it was. Peter had been in a bad place when she met him, unemployed and more or less homeless, which had propelled their relationship into high gear. He’d moved in with her quickly and had loads of time to devote to wooing her, and for a brief period of time she’d thought he was
the one.
But around the nine-month mark, when she’d been sure he was about to put a ring on her finger, he’d gotten a job and she’d discovered that he was a workaholic. So when he’d suggested he move into his own apartment, she hadn’t minded as much as she should have. And then things, well, faded away.
    “So you liked him better when he was a sad sack.”
    “Yeah.” She smiled. “Kinda.”
    “Take my word for it, though, sad sack is
not
a good long-term proposition.” Gabi sighed again.
    A few tables away, Nate lowered a forkful of food that was halfway to his mouth, his face lined with pain. She could see it clearly even from here, with her well-developed radar.
    The guy next to Nate leaned over. She filled in the dialogue:
Hey, man, you okay?
    Nate shook him off.
Fine.
    You don’t look fine.
    Alia worried that even though this was a drug-free, alcohol-free retreat, it was impossible to keep stuff from filtering in. A guy who’d given up oxy cold turkey would almost assuredly be offered that or a substitute once his friends knew he was suffering. And off prescription, no longer parceling out the tablets under someone else’s watchful eyes…that was when the real trouble started.
    Nate was getting up now, waving his hand to assure his tablemates it was nothing.
Just hitting the latrine,
she imagined him saying. But she saw it behind his eyes, written in the creases in his forehead, the deepening lines at the corners of his features: It wasn’t nothing.
    Before she could think it
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