Calling All Birdbrains Read Online Free Page B

graders had an air soccer game going.
    Can you imagine playing soccer without a ball?!
    No way I’d trust any of them with my precious Lippy!
    I followed the path across the Great Lawn. I heard a growl and saw Beast down on all fours, chasing a squirrel. Maybe Beast would like a pet, I thought.
    But no. Bad idea. Beast ate a chipmunk last week on a dare.
    â€œWho needs a nice parrot?” I asked myself. “Who deserves a little bad luck?”
    And then I saw Sherman Oaks. He was standing in the middle of a crowd of kids. Sherman, my old buddy. What do you give a kid who already has everything ?
    A bad-luck parrot, of course.
    Sherman was showing off, as usual. The kids were all oohing and aahing as Sherman demonstrated his new, solid gold cell phone.

    â€œThe screen lights up, and the back lights up, and the sides light up,” Sherman said. “When you hold it, your hand lights up!”

    â€œThis phone is so powerful,” Sherman said, “it picks up calls from other planets !”

    Sherman is the luckiest dude on earth, I decided. Should I give Lippy to him and change his luck?
    How great would that be?
    The idea got me so excited, I squeezed Lippy a little too hard.
    He made a gagging sound and spit up some yellowgunk onto my school blazer.
    â€œYo! Sherman!” I shouted. I pushed my way through the crowd. “Sherman, I’ve got something special for you, dude! This is your lucky day!”

Chapter 15
B IRD P LOP FOR B RAINS
    Sherman wasn’t finished showing off his phone. “With this phone, I can call people I don’t even know!” he said.

    His phone rang. Sherman let out a cry of surprise. He raised the phone to his ear. “Hello? Who is this?”
    â€œIt’s me,” I said, speaking into my cell phone.“I’m trying to get your attention.”
    Sherman lowered his phone and came walking over to me. “What do you want, Bernie?” He slipped the solid gold phone into his shirt.
    â€œIt’s your lucky day,” I said. “I decided to sell this rare, Patagonian parrot.”

    Sherman stared at Lippy. “Where are his feathers? He’s totally bald!”
    â€œThat’s what makes him rare,” I said. “I know you want to pay two hundred dollars for him. But you’re my old pal, Shermie. I’ll sell him to you for ten bucks.”
    â€œNo thanks,” Sherman said.
    â€œOkay, okay,” I said. “Three dollars. And I’ll throw in his perch. That’s my final price.”
    â€œNo thanks,” Sherman said.
    â€œOkay,” I said. “You drive a hard bargain. You can have him for free. Go ahead. Take him. Tell you what—I’ll pay you five dollars.”
    â€œNo thanks,” Sherman said.
    This was tough. Sherman wasn’t buying. But I knew I had to keep trying.
    Bernie B. is always an honest guy. Except when a little white lie might help smooth things out. Like maybe now.
    â€œI’ll tell you the truth,” I said. “The total truth. Lippy is a good-luck charm.”
    Sherman’s eyes grew wide. He squinted at Lippy. “He is ?”
    â€œIf you have Lippy on your shoulder, you can’t lose,” I said. “Sherman, why do you think I win every Uno game?”
    â€œBecause you cheat?”
    â€œNo. Because I always have Lippy with me.”

    Sherman reached out and fingered Lippy’s bald head. “He’s really lucky?” he asked.
    I finally had him hooked.
    â€œIf you take the parrot, I’ll never beat you at Uno again,” I said. “You’ll win every game. You’ll never lose at anything . You’ll see.”
    He petted Lippy’s head again. “Anything?”

    Lippy snapped his beak and bit part of Sherman’s thumb off.
    â€œThat’s lucky !” I said. “If he bites you like that, it means you’ll have good luck for a week.”
    â€œOkay. I’ll take him,” Sherman