An Evening of Long Goodbyes Read Online Free Page B

he offend you?’
    Why do birds sing? Why is the sky blue? Thomas, the alleged body-artist, who looked like he’d fallen face-first into a bag of nails: I refrained from comment, contenting myself with a supercilious chortle.
    ‘But haven’t you ever considered,’ Bel went on in an ironic tone, ‘whether the problem might not be with you? Have you ever thought to yourself, why am I so obsessed with my sister’s love-life, isn’t that a bit unhealthy, especially when the rest of the time I do nothing except wander around the house drinking Father’s wine and watching television and romping around with singularly stupid girls who haven’t a hint of brain in their pretty little heads like that awful whatshername who sounded like a bullfight, even as I criticize my unfortunate sister for her attempts at a normal, real relationship and a real actual life – am I,’ she heated up and started stamping about, ‘am I going to spend the rest of my life hanging around Amaurot doing nothing but spy into other people’s affairs as if I owned them when in fact it is none of my business ?’ Trembling with fury, she turned to look at me, as if expecting a response.
    ‘Are we still talking about me?’ I said.
    ‘ Yes , Charles;’ bringing her foot down thunderously.
    ‘What – you’re suggesting that instead of trying to protect and care for my family I should be out working in some sort of a, a job , is that it?’
    ‘In a nutshell,’ Bel replied.
    I was confused. ‘This isn’t how the conversation started out,’ I averred.
    ‘Maybe not,’ Bel said. ‘But it’s high time someone told you a few home truths.’
    ‘Actually, I think I can feel another nauseous spell coming on,’ I said hurriedly.
    She said it anyway: she was remorseless, telling me that while possibly by some tortuous logic I was misconstruing my meddling behaviour as paternal, or protective, in actual fact it was intrusive and stifling, ‘and the only reason you do it is that you don’t have anything else , because for the last two years you’ve been either sitting around here on your own or drinking with your good-for-nothing friends and basically living without the remotest concept of adulthood or maturity … Well, I’ve had enough, Charles. I don’t care any more if you don’t go back to college. I don’t care if you want to ruin your life. But I don’t see why you should get to ruin mine as well. If you’re going to be a failure, fine. But please fail on your own time.’
    ‘Failure?’ I yelped. ‘Someone has to preserve the family tradition, don’t they? Someone has to keep the flag flying.’
    ‘Father never took a day off in his life,’ she said contemptuously. ‘Flag indeed.’
    ‘Yes, but he didn’t work his whole life so that his children would have to – to also work,’ I parried, ‘and besides, I don’t understand what you’re getting so het up about’ – although it was pretty obvious, Bel was relentlessly introspective and probably suffering from terrible guilt over this Frank character. ‘I don’t see why a few kindly meant words of advice have you sending me out to work shelling peas , or putting tops on jam jars in some hideous mechanical barn , standing all day at a conveyor belt, the roar of machinery in my ears, not even a chair to sit on and the endless gleaming jars rolling inexorably towards my little lid-placing device –’
    ‘I’m talking about responsibility, Charles, about living like an actual human grown-up person –’
    ‘This Frank of yours, I suppose he works, does he?’
    Bel halted mid-stamp and adjusted the strap of her dress. ‘He works,’ she said evasively.
    ‘Well? Brain surgeon, hot-air balloonist, third violin…?’
    She cast down her eyes. ‘He has a van,’ she said.
    ‘A van !’ I exclaimed, triumphantly jabbing a finger in the air. ‘A van ! And any idea as to what he puts in this “van”? Opium? Elephant tusks? Well-intentioned but misguided young girls from