An American Love Story Read Online Free Page A

“If you want to know the truth, I pretty much hate all adults.”
    She put her head on his chest, relaxing in the warm circle of his arms. “Loonybird,” she said.
    She thought about it: Clay could charm people he didn’t even like or care about; it was his incredible charisma. No wonder he was so good at his work, being able to engender trust—that, andhis talent of course. She began to like being a part of his secret, and being one of the few people in the world he cared about. She felt his sly appeal was not hypocritical or manipulative, but admirable. And so, from that moment on, Laura became his co-conspirator.
    They had a baby nurse for Nina, and someone to clean the apartment, and someone to cook. Often Laura met Clay downtown after his cocktail meetings and they had dinner in a restaurant together. She ate almost nothing. The weight was coming off quickly, but she felt uncomfortable and unattractive now that there was no longer an excuse for her to look so different from what she had always looked like. She couldn’t wait to be herself again, perhaps not as thin as she had been before, but at least she wanted to look like a former ballerina, the woman Clay was so proud of, not just anybody. Every morning she took an hour and a half class, feeling her stamina come back and her identity with it.
    There was still the apartment to finish. Somehow Clay was so busy that they never did get to go to an auction together; Laura went with Tanya. He was working longer and longer hours now; up before she was, kissing her gently and telling her to sleep; making her wait an hour in the restaurant (with two phone calls from his secretary) while he was still in meetings; coming home too tired to do more than blow a kiss at the baby. Laura understood all this, but what confused her was that their sex life, which had once been so passionate and loving, was now almost nonexistent. Sometimes three or four weeks went by before he wanted to make love, and when she made timid overtures she would find that instead of becoming aroused under her touch he had fallen asleep, curled into a ball with his back to her, mumbling softly: “No, no.”
    She didn’t know what to say. It was difficult for her to talk about sex—doing it was easy, but discussing it was humiliating, pushy. She was afraid if she made an issue of it things would get worse. The only one she could talk to about it was Tanya.
    “When people get married does the sex go away?”
    “Not away,” Tanya said.
    “But less?”
    “I guess so,” Tanya said. “But I’ve only been married to one man. And I was a virgin when I married him.”
    “You weren’t! You said you’d had lovers,” Laura said.
    Tanya grinned mischievously. “I didn’t want to seem square. Lots of the girls at ballet school lied about our sex lives and pretended we had them.”
    “Well,” Laura said, “I did have lovers, but I don’t know anything about marriage. I never discussed things like that with anyone who was married. It’s so personal.”
    “Ask me anything.”
    “Clay’s so busy and so tired, and he’s always thinking. He’ll get into bed with a pile of scripts and he seems … so forbidding. It’s cozy, and I love being next to him, but I’m afraid to touch him.”
    “You don’t mean he never does anything?”
    “Oh, not never. But it’s just not what I’d imagined. He’s changed. Sometimes I wonder if it’s me.”
    “It’s not you,” Tanya said. “Edward’s the same way. You know how much he adores me, and he thinks I’m sexy, but sometimes he forgets I’m there. They’re so interested in their careers right now. We’re going to be with them forever. If it gets too bad put some anise seeds into a bottle of vodka and let them marinate for two weeks. Then give him a little glass of that. It’s an aphrodisiac.”
    “How do you know?”
    “It works on dogs,” Tanya said. “If you sprinkle a trail of anise seeds all the way to your door a strange dog will