All He Ever Wanted Read Online Free Page B

it.”
    “Of course,” I said.
    Did Etna Bliss hesitate just the one second before accepting my hat and gloves? Yes, I am sure she did. I remember distinctly
     the sensation of holding out my things and for a moment having no taker. What did she see in me that made her pause? The vast
     hunger that had shaken me to the bone? And would she have recognized this hunger for having seen it before on the faces of
     other men, or was she merely prescient, already intuitive about human want and greed?
    (And why,
why,
I have often asked myself, was it that woman and not another? Why the curve of that particular cheek and not another? Why
     the gold of those eyes and not the blue of others? I have in my lifetime seen a hundred, no a thousand, beautiful women —
     lifting skirts to step over piles of snow, fanning long necks in restaurants, undressing in the dim electric lights of rented
     rooms — but none has ever had upon me the effect that Etna Bliss had: a sensation quite beyond that which can be explained
     by science.)
    She took my coat then and hung it on a hat rack in the corner. She turned slightly toward me.
    “Etna, I wonder if you would …” William Bliss began, not unkindly but perhaps suggesting the nature of Etna’s place within
     the household. There was no further need to elaborate, for already she had turned toward the kitchen to tell the cook that
     tea was needed.
    What relief it was for me to see her retreating form! The respite allowed me some moments to collect my wits and speak to
     Bliss in the manner to which we were accustomed, the manner of men who do not know each other well but are regarded as colleagues
     and thus have immediately a common vocabulary that must be respected before any dislike or love can form.
    I did not often encounter William Bliss at school, since he was married and therefore did not reside in college rooms; nor
     did we ever have occasion to work together, coming as we did from separate disciplines. Also, Bliss was older than I by a
     good twenty years, and thus I regarded him as from a different generation. He directed me to the front parlor.
    I cannot exaggerate the feeling of claustrophobia that room produced, the claustrophobia of months spent indoors, of oxygen
     seemingly sucked from the air by the plethora of ornate pieces and dozens of objets, each demanding the eye’s attention, so
     that one felt not only breathless and oppressed, but also as though a migraine were imminent. It was a room that with its
     rosewood spool turnings and carved oak trefoils, its gilded mirrors and marble-topped tables, its serpentine tendrils of overgrown
     plants and cast-iron lanterns, its stenciled stripes and floral motifs, its flocked wallpaper and glass curtains, its oriental
     rugs and Chinese vases and fringed tablecloths and its iron clock — not to mention the dozens of daguerreotypes in silver
     and wood and marquetry frames that seemed to cover every available surface — leached the vitality from the body. (A man’s
     body, at least, for one deduced immediately that the room reflected a woman’s taste; even Moxon’s rooms, at their very worst,
     might have been considered spare by comparison.) Because of all the plants in the windows, only the dimmest light entered
     the room, and how Bliss had been able to read a newspaper there, I do not know, though perhaps he had been reading in his
     study. It was evidence at the very least that William Bliss must have loved his wife very much to put up with so much excess.
    “Van Tassel, do sit down.”
    “Thank you.”
    “There might be good. Oh, let me move that for you.”
    “No, I can do it.”
    “You know, I cannot thank you enough. My wife says you were a hero.”
    “Nonsense, it was no more than any man would have done.”
    “You are too modest. Is the college abuzz?”
    “I daresay. I have canceled my classes.”
    “Have you indeed? What a splendid idea.”
    Sometimes it seems to me that all of life is a struggle to