Abuse, Trauma, and Torture - Their Consequences and Effects Read Online Free Page A

Narcissistic
Supply from unsuspecting sources, who are not yet on to him. To the
narcissist, confabulation is not merely a way of life – but life
itself.
    We are all conditioned to
let other indulge in pet delusions and get away with white, not too
egregious, lies. The narcissist makes use of our socialisation. We
dare not confront or expose him, despite the outlandishness of his
claims, the improbability of his stories, the implausibility of his
alleged accomplishments and conquests. We simply turn the other
cheek, or meekly avert our eyes, often embarrassed.
    Moreover, the
narcissist makes clear, from the very beginning, that it is his way
or the highway. His aggression – even violent streak – are close to
the surface. He may be charming in a first encounter – but even
then there are telltale
signs of pent-up abuse. His
interlocutors sense this impending threat and avoid conflict by
acquiescing with the narcissist's fairy tales. Thus he imposes his
private universe and virtual reality on his milieu – sometimes with
disastrous consequences.

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The Cult of the
Narcissist

    The narcissist is the
guru at the centre of a cult. Like other gurus, he demands complete
obedience from his flock: his spouse, his offspring, other family
members, friends, and colleagues. He feels entitled to adulation
and special treatment by his followers. He punishes the wayward and
the straying lambs. He enforces discipline, adherence to his
teachings, and common goals. The less accomplished he is in reality
– the more stringent his mastery and the more pervasive the
brainwashing.
    The – often involuntary –
members of the narcissist's mini-cult inhabit a twilight zone of
his own construction. He imposes on them a shared psychosis,
replete with persecutory delusions, "enemies", mythical narratives,
and apocalyptic scenarios if he is flouted.
    The
narcissist's control is based on ambiguity, unpredictability,
fuzziness, and ambient
abuse . His ever-shifting whims
exclusively define right versus wrong, desirable and unwanted, what
is to be pursued and what to be avoided. He alone determines the
rights and obligations of his disciples and alters them at
will.
    The narcissist is a
micro-manager. He exerts control over the minutest details and
behaviours. He punishes severely and abuses withholders of
information and those who fail to conform to his wishes and
goals.
    The narcissist does not
respect the boundaries and privacy of his reluctant adherents. He
ignores their wishes and treats them as objects or instruments of
gratification. He seeks to control both situations and people
compulsively.
    He strongly disapproves
of others' personal autonomy and independence. Even innocuous
activities, such as meeting a friend or visiting one's family
require his permission. Gradually, he isolates his nearest and
dearest until they are fully dependent on him emotionally,
sexually, financially, and socially.
    He acts in a patronising
and condescending manner and criticises often. He alternates
between emphasising the minutest faults (devalues) and exaggerating
the talents, traits, and skills (idealises) of the members of his
cult. He is wildly unrealistic in his expectations – which
legitimises his subsequent abusive conduct.
    The narcissist claims to
be infallible, superior, talented, skilful, omnipotent, and
omniscient. He often lies and confabulates to support these
unfounded claims. Within his cult, he expects awe, admiration,
adulation, and constant attention commensurate with his outlandish
stories and assertions. He reinterprets reality to fit his
fantasies.
    His thinking is dogmatic,
rigid, and doctrinaire. He does not countenance free thought,
pluralism, or free speech and doesn't brook criticism and
disagreement. He demands – and often gets – complete trust and the
relegation to his capable hands of all decision-making.
    He forces the
participants in his cult to be hostile to critics, the authorities,
institutions, his personal