A Pain in the Tuchis: A Mrs. Kaplan Mystery Read Online Free Page A

only time since we had known her that we could be sure she would not speak ill of anyone.
    This time, whatever Dr. Menschyk had given her before did not seem to help, and he had to call in a specialist, with whom he conferred several times. The specialist prescribed some new medicine, which she was to take every evening with, or just after, dinner, together with the medicines she was already taking. Daniel of course insisted on being the one to give Vera her new medicine with her other pills and potions when he came to see her in the late afternoons. Given the seriousness of Vera’s illness, the Home was more reluctant than before to let Daniel do this, but both he and Vera insisted. “I think I’m capable of helping my mother take a few pills,” Daniel would say, and of course he was.
    They made them sign another paper.
    —
    Now, living also at the Home for perhaps two years before the time we are speaking of was Vera’s younger sister, Frances Kleinberg, of whom I have already spoken. Fannie, as everyone called her, was in her mid-sixties, almost twenty years younger than Vera. In fact, she was probably the youngest resident of the Home when she arrived, having just lost her husband and wishing to be closer to her remaining family, as she told us. Other than Fannie, Daniel, and Vera, apparently there was only a cousin who, I thought I had been told, was living in Singapore. But no one had heard from him in many years.
    Fannie lived in one of what are called the “independent” units at the Home, a separate building with nice big apartments that are meant for people who can take care of themselves but don’t mind someone else preparing their meals, cleaning their apartments, and so forth. They also might prefer living with other people, particularly Jewish people, rather than by themselves. There are maybe twenty such apartments at the Home.
    Fannie was quite different from her sister, Vera, like maybe honey cake from gefilte fish. I was telling you earlier that here at the Home there are all types of people among the residents, and a good example of this is the contrast between Vera and her sister. Where Vera could be abrasive and mean-spirited, Fannie Kleinberg was, like her nephew Daniel, a nice person: friendly and helpful. Like most of the residents, when you think about it.
    There was quite a difference between the sisters physically, also. Vera was tall and thin, always looking like a strong wind might blow her over. She had a sharp nose and a narrow forehead. She generally wore her hair fairly long and was always well groomed. The overall impression was, however, as Mrs. K put it, that “all she needs is a pointy black hat to play a witch on Halloween.” I guess her looks fit her personality.
    Fannie was tall, but she was not particularly thin. She had a round face and rosy cheeks, with short blond hair. She didn’t seem to worry much about her appearance, often wearing clothes that didn’t quite fit, that seemed too loose. I have noticed so many ladies of my age wearing clothes that are just a
bissel
too small or too big, because with age they have somewhat expanded or shrunk, and either could not afford or could not be bothered to buy a new wardrobe.
    Given these many differences, no one would guess Vera and Fannie were sisters just to look at or speak with them. Or to live with them. But sisters they were. I only learned later that Vera was adopted, which helps to explain her being so different from Fannie.
    A few days after Vera became so sick and took to her bed, we got to talking with Fannie in the Home’s library.
    She turned to Mrs. K and said, “You know, Rose, I’d really like to help take care of my sister, to help her with her medications. Do you think they’ll let me?”
    “Well, as you know, Daniel has been helping Vera with her medicine every evening. I don’t think either Vera or Daniel would want to change that.”
    Fannie appeared to think this over before saying, “Yes, I’m