27 Wagons Full of Cotton and Other Plays Read Online Free Page B

talking about something closer to home, Mrs. Meighan. You do me a good turn and I’ll do you one, that was the way that he put it. You have a piece of cotton on your face. Hold still—I’ll pick it off. ( He delicately removes the lint. )There now.
    F LORA: ( nervously )Thanks.
    V ICARRO: There’s a lot of fine cotton lint floating round in the air.
    F LORA: I know there is. It irritates my nose. I think it gets up in my sinus.
    V ICARRO: Well, you’re a delicate woman.
    F LORA: Delicate? Me? Oh, no. I’m too big for that.
    V ICARRO: Your size is part of your delicacy, Mrs. Meighan.
    F LORA: How do you mean?
    V ICARRO: There’s a lot of you, but every bit of you is delicate. Choice. Delectable, I might say.
    F LORA: Huh?
    V ICARRO: I mean you’re altogether lacking in any—coarseness. You’re soft. Fine-fibered. And smooth.
    F LORA: Our talk is certainly taking a personal turn.
    V ICARRO: Yes. You make me think of cotton.
    F LORA: Huh?
    V ICARRO: Cotton!
    F LORA: Well! Should I say thanks or something?
    V ICARRO: No, just smile, Mrs. Meighan. You have an attractive smile. Dimples!
    F LORA: No . . .
    V ICARRO: Yes, you have! Smile, Mrs. Meighan! Come on—smile! ( Flora averts her face, smiling helplessly. )There now. See? You’ve got them! ( He delicately touches one of the dimples. )
    F LORA: Please don’t touch me. I don’t like to be touched.
    V ICARRO: Then why do you giggle?

    F LORA: Can’t help it. You make me feel kind of hysterical, Mr. Vicarro. Mr. Vicarro—
    V ICARRO: Yes?
    F LORA: I hope you don’t think that Jake was mixed up in that fire. I swear to goodness he never left the front porch. I remember it perfeckly now. We just set here on the swing till the fire broke out and then we drove in town.
    V ICARRO: To celebrate?
    F LORA: No, no, no.
    V ICARRO: Twenty-seven wagons full of cotton’s a pretty big piece of business to fall in your lap like a gift from the gods, Mrs. Meighan.
    F LORA: I thought you said that we would drop the subjeck.
    V ICARRO: You brought it up that time.
    F LORA: Well, please don’t try to mix me up any more. I swear to goodness the fire had already broke out when he got back.
    V ICARRO: That’s not what you told me a moment ago.
    F LORA: You got me all twisted up. We went in town. The fire broke out an’ we didn’t know about it.
    V ICARRO: I thought you said it irritated your sinus.
    F LORA: Oh, my God, you sure put words in my mouth. Maybe I’d better make us some lemonade.
    V ICARRO: Don’t go to the trouble.
    F LORA: I’ll go in an’ fix it direckly, but right at this moment I’m too weak to get up. I don’t know why, but I can’t hardly hold my eyes open. They keep falling shut. . . . I think it’s a little too crowded, two on a swing. Will you do me a favor an’ set back down over there?
    V ICARRO: Why do you want me to move?
    F LORA: It makes too much body heat when we’re crowded together.
    V ICARRO: One body can borrow coolness from another.
    F LORA: I always heard that bodies borrowed heat.
    V ICARRO: Not in this case. I’m cool.

    F LORA: You don’t seem like it to me.
    V ICARRO: I’m just as cool as a cucumber. If you don’t believe
    it, touch me.
    F LORA: Where?
    V ICARRO: Anywhere.
    F LORA: ( rising with great effort )Excuse me. I got to go in. ( He pulls her back down. )What did you do that for?
    V ICARRO: I don’t want to be deprived of your company yet.
    F LORA: Mr. Vicarro, you’re getting awf’ly familiar.
    V ICARRO: Haven’t you got any fun-loving spirit about you?
    F LORA: This isn’t fun.
    V ICARRO: Then why do you giggle?
    F LORA: I’m ticklish! Quit switching me, will yuh?
    V ICARRO: I’m just shooing the flies off.
    F LORA: Leave ‘em be, then, please. They don’t hurt nothin’.
    V ICARRO: I think you like to be switched.
    F LORA: I don’t. I wish you’d quit.
    V ICARRO: You’d like to be switched harder.
    F LORA: No, I wouldn’t.
    V ICARRO: That blue mark on your wrist—
    F LORA: What about it?
    V ICARRO: I’ve