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coping well. And yeah, I guess I’ve been doing a lot of drinking.” He leaned forward. “Last night, I started to feel different. Better. I think seeing you reminded me of the real memories of me and Becks, not just the rose tinted ones I’d adapted as an excuse for my own agony.” He sat back. “The fact is, she put me in a really hard position—gave me an impossible decision to make—and in the end, was actually a massive bitch. I loved her. I miss her. But I’d forgotten how much I disliked her until now.”
     
    I frowned, I knew there were complications and lots of fights at the end of their relationship, I was witness to the months of screaming and tears, but I wasn’t aware of Becky making things hard for Nate or giving him ultimatums. I wanted to question him but he got there before me.
     
    “I don’t want to go over it anymore. Let’s just have some fun and finish our friendship in style.” He picked up the phone and ordered more wine.

CHAPTER 4— NATE
     
    It was as though a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and I knew it wasn’t just from the drink. Anna was great to be around, she didn’t take herself, or anything, too seriously and I laughed more than I’d laughed the whole year put together.
     
    We put a music channel on in the background and danced around the room, giggling and stumbling. I felt silly and happy and completely able to be myself. Breathless, I bent over and rested my hands on my knees while Anna carried on spinning and doing the running man with chicken wings. A few seconds passed before I realized that I wasn’t just watching, I was transfixed. Her curves undulated to the track. She wasn’t trying to be sexy, she just was—it came from the very core of her. Her black silk hair swung around her shoulders, the exposed skin, milk chocolate and glistening. She spun to face me and stopped dead.
     
    “What is it? What’s wrong?” she asked, worried.
     
    I stood. Suddenly, my heart was pounding. I swallowed, certain she could hear its beat.
     
    “Nothing. Nothing, carry on with your chicken dance.” I tried to make my tone light, but I knew she could feel the change in atmosphere. She stood, baffled, while I tried everything I could to suppress the rush of affection from building, from even being in existence. I don’t know what came over me then; my body took me over completely and I walked up to her and placed both of my palms onto her satin cheeks. She was so petite and delicate, I was afraid to touch her for fear she would break. She froze and looked up to my face questioningly. I was consumed. Totally, utterly consumed. Before I could think, before my head could rule my heart, I bent down and kissed her.
     
    There was a split second where our lips met and electricity shot up and down my spine. I moved my hands into her hair but then felt a hard shove against my chest. We broke apart, both panting. She wiped her lips with the back of her hand, as if trying to rub me off.
     
    “What the hell do you think you’re doing Nate?” Her eyes were ablaze as she shouted. There was no mistaking her fury as I realized with dread that I had read the situation very, very wrong.
     
    “I thought. . .I just thought it seemed right,” I stammered, not knowing what to say. I was annoyed with myself for having ruined what had been a really great evening.
     
    “God, you’re such an idiot. You can’t just kiss me—I’m not some groupie, I’m your ex-girlfriend’s best friend. Have you got no control over yourself? What did you think would happen?” She gathered up her jacket and bag. “I’m going. Thanks for a good time—up until now. Have a nice life, Nate.”
     
    I couldn’t find words and just gaped at Anna as she left the room. I sat on the edge of the bed and put my head in my hands. I don’t know what had come over me, I hadn’t felt a pull that strong, not ever—not even when I first met Becky.
     
    I reminisced about that time, as that was the