Zoya Read Online Free Page B

dinner.”
    “Yes, Mama.” She lowered her eyes toward her plate, and the others carried on their conversation without her. it was only a moment later that she looked up and realized her grandmother was there, and a smile lit up her face as she saw her. “Hello, Grandmama. Aunt Alix said to send you her love.”
    “Is she well?” It was her father who asked. Her mother sat looking silently beautiful, still obviously displeased with her daughter.
    “She is always well when she tends the sick,” her grandmother answered for her. “It's an odd thing about Alix. She seems to suffer every possible malaise, until she is needed by someone sicker, and then she rises to the occasion remarkably.” The elderly Countess looked pointedly at her daughter-in-law, and then smiled proudly at Zoya. “Little Marie must have been happy to see you, Zoya.”
    Zoya smiled gratefully. “She was, Grandmama.” And then to reassure her mother, “I never saw the others. They were all closeted somewhere. Even Madame Vyrubova is sick now,” she added, and then regretted it bitterly as her mother glanced up in obvious terror.
    “How stupid of you, Zoya … I can't understandwhy you would go there. Do you wish to catch the measles?”
    “No, Mama. I'm truly very sorry.” But there was nothing in her face to make one believe that she was. Only her words were filled with the expected contrition. “I didn't mean to be late. I was going to leave when Aunt Alix came in to have tea with us, and I didn't want to be rude to her….”
    “As well you should not. She is, after all, our Empress as well as our cousin,” her grandmother said pointedly. Her own eyes were the same green as Zoya's, and her father's and brother's. Only Natalya's were a pale bluish gray, like a cold winter sky with no hope of summer. Her life had always been too demanding of her, her husband was energetic and robust, he had always loved her enthusiastically and well, and he had wanted more children than she was able to bear. Two had been stillborn, and she had had several miscarriages, and both Zoya and Nicolai had been difficult to bear. She had spent a year in bed for each of them, and now slept in her own apartments. Konstantin loved his friends, and he had also wanted to give innumerable balls and parties, but she found all of it far too exhausting, and used ill health as an excuse for her lack of joie de vivre and her almost overwhelming shyness. It gave her an air of icy disdain, behind which she hid the fact that people terrified her, and she was far happier reclining on a chair near the fire. But his daughter was far more like him, and after Zoya made her debut in the spring, Konstantin was looking forward to the prospect of having her accompany him to parties. They had talked for a long time about abandoning the idea of a ball, and Natalya had insisted that they shouldn't consider itwith a war on, but finally Zoya's grandmother had decided the matter for them, and Konstantin was much relieved. There was to be a ball as soon as she graduated from the Smolny Institute in June, perhaps not as grand a ball as they might have given if there were no war going on, but it was still going to be a very lovely party.
    “What news of Nicholas?” Konstantin inquired. “Did Marie say anything?”
    “Not much. Aunt Alix says he's home from the front, but I think he's going back soon.”
    “I know. I saw him last week. He's well, though, isn't he?” Konstantin looked concerned, as his handsome son watched him. He knew then that his father must have heard the same rumors he had heard in the barracks, that Nicholas was exhausted beyond what anyone knew, and that the strain of the war was wearing on him. Some even spoke in hushed whispers about the possibility of a breakdown. With the gentle kindness of the Tsar and his constant concern for everyone, that was almost impossible to imagine. It was difficult to think of him breaking down, or giving up. He was deeply loved by his