backpack over my shoulder and shoving my hands in my pockets, I step into the traffic of laughter and shuffling feet, passing through small groups of friends on my way into homeroom. Crossing my fingers deep inside my pockets, I scan the mostly empty desks for a friendly face.
My options aren’t so great.
There’s the dark-haired boy in the corner by the window.His hair’s as black as midnight and I can see the dandruff flakes falling as he runs his hand through it each time he turns the page in the book that’s only inches from his heavy glasses. Yeah. Not exactly my ideal vision of a best friend.
The two other choices don’t get much better. The first one is asleep and the other is a mousy-looking girl with her hands folded across her desk like she’s at church or something. Plus her makeup is like a little kid’s playing dress up, heavy lipstick and blush in big circles like a circus clown’s.
“Excuse me, I’d like to get by,” a girl says as she taps my shoulder and turns her body to slip past where I’m blocking the doorway.
“Oh . . . sorry,” I say and step aside. Only she steps in the same direction so that I step into her way. “Sorry,” I stutter again, noticing the bleached shine of her hair for the first time. A cheerleader’s smile to go with it.
She’s one of them.
Perfect and popular and I just bumped into her like a clumsy freak. The backpack thing and now this! Strike two. Three strikes and their clique will hate me forever. So I tell her once more that I’m sorry and carefully step completely out of her way.
“Really, it’s okay,” she says. She smiles wider and shakes her head just enough to let me know that she means it.
“I was just . . . ,” I start to say without any idea of what it was that I was just doing. “I don’t know . . . daydreaming, I guess.”
“It’s not a big deal,” she says. A second smile shows that she means it and that I can relax. She takes a few steps away beforelooking at me again. “Where are you sitting?” she asks.
I shrug my shoulders. “Nowhere yet.”
“Sit here,” she says. She points to a desk in the back row as she sits in the desk beside it. I can’t help but wonder if this is another trick. Another set-up like Morgan’s compliment on my bag the day before, but I don’t dare turn down the invitation. Besides, she says it more like a command than an invitation.
I slide into the seat she’s assigned me.
“What was your name again?” she asks. “I’m Meredith.”
“Hi,” I say. “I’m Hannah.”
I bite my lip and try to think of something else to say. Nothing comes to mind, though, and I feel like an idiot sitting there staring at her. So I turn my head away and pretend to read the different banners and signs pinned onto the walls. Notices about upcoming pep rallies and football games. Meredith is busy fixing her hair in a little pocket mirror and doesn’t seem bothered either way if I speak or not. And I know I’m blowing a chance to get in with her, but I can’t help it. Not one interesting thing comes into my brain.
God!
Maybe I’m really just as boring as the mousy girl sitting in the front row!
I hear the click of her compact snapping shut and peek over as Meredith zips her purse closed. I can see her through the strands of my hair that hang across the side of my face. She’s studying every part of me. I know she is. Checking for flaws and I wonder if I’d hear her snickering if one of her friends would be sitting next to her.
“So,” she says to get my attention and I look over at her.I cross my fingers again, praying my face doesn’t turn bright red as she looks me over carefully. “So, like what are you?” Meredith finally asks.
I open my mouth but no sound comes out.
No one has ever asked me a question like that before and I’m not sure how to answer. I’m not even sure I know what it means. “Um . . . ,” I stutter and my tongue feels a few sizes too big as I stumble to come