You & Me Read Online Free Page A

like, like a cat, and his like Arrow single-needle-tailoring oxford shirt rip to shreds right there in the shower.
    Did that turn Jane on?
    You know it did. Jane in her leather skirt.
    Do we not have anything else we could think about?
    We must, but I can’t think of it.
    We should read a book, about the atom bomb or something.
    Or about the philosophy of aesthetics.
    Or about explorers, or history, some political and economic history, this is what we should be talking about instead of Tarzan and Jane stylin’ jungle porno folk with a big monkey named for a big cat.
    Did Tarzan do any vine swingin’ in New York?
    You know he musta have, acause how else could he get around except when he was riding elephants—
    â€”and that time he run on foot to stop Boy from going over the waterfall on the giant lily pad—
    â€”yeah, he run then, but allus elsetimes he swingin’ everywhere, and what I want to know is how did they, you know, get him the vine equivalencies in New York, like what—steel cables and shit? Tarzan could just happen on some loose electrical wire and swing to a new building.
    Oh man you know he could, he was a dude.
    For example, we should be discussing like the differences between Hellenistic or even Roman conquerors and Central Asian conquerors, I am thinking largely of Timur here and the path of centuries-old degradation he legacied by virtue of the policies of razing, whereas say Alexander preserved, Caesar preserved . . .
    And so you have Europe as opposed to Uzbekistan, this is your thesis?
    Yes it is. Do you think Johnny Weissmuller was a steroid user?
    Did they have them then? He was in the Olympics in 1924?
    The idea of steroids before the rise of Hitler is strange.
    Steroids is what the Nazis were all about. Bullies kicking sand in the face of six million ninety-pound weaklings on the beach.
    That shit is hard to believe.
    Yes it is but is it not the only thing that explains the US of A going into Iraq “unprovoked”? Isn’t the cordata of that game the presence of Israel and the shadow of them steroids?
    You are a wise man. Is it possible to get Tarzan movies at Blockbuster?
    You will recall that Jesse Whatwashisname irked the Nazis in the 1936 Olympics running faster than the bullies.
    Owens. We are I think confusing Weissmuller’s Olympics with Owens’s. They couldn’t have been in the same games, could they?
    Yes. My point is that today if they redid Tarzan, Tarzan would be played not by Weissmuller but by Owens. Or Denzel as Owens.
    No, it would have to be Owens, because if subs were allowed then Schwarzenegger would be Weissmuller.
    Ooo. That sounds nasty.
    That is nasty. Do you know how to get mold out of a car? I am afraid I enclosed a car under a car cover and now it looks like an orange been in the basket two months, an olive velvet interior head to toe.
    You car messed up. I guess you could put fifty-five gallons of vinegar in it and drive around.
    We could go down to Blockbuster in the vinegar and get Tarzan.

&
    It is not for me to say.
    To say what?
    Anything.
    Then why announce that you’ve nothing to say?
    It’s just a polite filler, like the little business at the end of a newspaper column.
    I see.
    No you don’t.
    You’re right, I don’t.
    So why say you see when you don’t see?
    All right. There’s nothing for me to say either.
    But we keep talking.
    Yes.
    We must.
    Must we?
    Apparently. Evidently. I love evidently used that way.
    Remember that hurricane victim sitting inside her collapsed house saying, “Evidently I’m in shock.”
    Evidently she was.
    Evidently.
    It is hard to say what she thought she meant. The evidence that she might be in shock did not seem wanting.
    So she meant, “Obviously I’m in shock”? “Apparently I’m in shock”?
    No, she meant, “I’m in shock,” but some force made her preface it with “evidently.” Evidently my