You Know Me Well Read Online Free Page A

never even talked, but we sit next to each other in Calc. Now the song is over and the crowd is going crazy. Mark jumps down from the bar and Ryan is trying to high-five him, but Mark is still looking at me, taking his clothes from Ryan and muttering something.
    When Mark reaches my table, he’s still fumbling with his belt buckle.
    He stops in front of me and says, “Oh my God.”
    All of that confidence and happiness is gone, and I want it back for him. That rush . I want it back for all of us. I feel like we share something, in what we’re missing right now.
    “Hey, Mark,” I say. “It is Mark, right?”
    He nods, but all he says, again, is, “Oh my God.”
    “I have something serious to ask you.” My heart is pounding because I’m not the kind of person who just opens up to anyone. I tend to be more of a listener, not a sharer of problems, but tonight is not a typical night. Violet is less than a mile away from us, the bass is pounding, the disco ball casting diamonds of light through the darkness, and it turns out that the shy jock from Calc is in reality a heartthrob jailbait of a boy who dances practically naked in gay bars.
    “Please—” Mark starts.
    But I am not a ruiner of squeaky-clean reputations. I’m ready to move on to bigger things with him. So I cut him off and say, “I thought it was an excellent performance. By the time you leave I’m sure that every available guy in here will have given you his number.”
    Ryan appears next to us.
    “It’s my fault,” he says. “I kind of coerced him into doing it.”
    “God, you two,” I say. “Lighten up! I won’t tell anyone. But, Mark, just listen, okay? Because I’m about to ask you something and, like I said, it’s a serious question.”
    Mark’s panic fades into relief. He sighs and runs his hand over his face. When he looks at me again, he is ready to listen.
    “Do you want to be friends with me?” I ask him.
    He cocks his head.
    “Come again?”
    “I know that makes me sound like I’m in preschool or something. It’s not even the main question, but I feel like we should establish a friendship before I ask you what I really want to ask you. I’ve spent the whole day, the whole school year, really, realizing that I might not actually like my friends all that much. Which is why I’m at a bar by myself on a night when everyone else is with other people. I wasn’t supposed to be here, but here I am, and then here you are, and it’s like a flashing arrow is pointing at you, telling me that you are someone I should know.”
    “Uhm,” Mark says.
    Ryan mutters something about invisibility, but I don’t ask him what he means because I’m too focused on Mark’s face.
    “I guess?” he says. “I mean, if you want to.”
    “Okay, good. So now for the real question: Have you ever wanted something so badly that it sort of takes over your life? Like, you still do all the things you’re supposed to do, but you’re just going through the motions because you are entirely consumed by this one thing?”
    The blush that was beginning to fade comes rushing back to his face, even deeper than before, and his eyes dart toward Ryan and then quickly away. Interesting.
    Mark nods, and he really looks into my face as he does it, and I look hard back at him, and it is clear: We understand each other.
    “I just ran away from a girl I don’t know yet,” I tell him.
    He smiles. “She sounds that bad?”
    “No,” I say. “She sounds amazing. She’s supposed to change my life.”
    “So what happened?”
    “She’s all I can think about all the time,” I say.
    “Yes,” he says. He understands.
    “Have you ever wanted something so badly that when it’s about to happen, you feel this need to sabotage yourself?”
    His eyes stay fixed on mine and I can tell that he’s trying to follow me to this place, but he ends up shaking his head.
    “No,” he says. “I don’t think I work that way.”
    “I didn’t think I did, either. I’ve been